- Jun 5, 2014
- 37,046
- 98,116
Founding Member
The Will Muschamp debacle really makes a man think.
It's a wonderful thing to be a fired college head football coach. Not only do you get to be relieved of all your duties and taken out of an extremely stressful situation, you get paid handsomely for it, often for YEARS after you're kicked to the curb. You can just waltz out of town on a carpet of money. It's really a slap in the face to the fans. You ruin their lives and get rewarded?
I think the fans, who pay all those salaries in the first place, need to be offered some kind of formal retaliation. Here's the proposal:
1) The coach has to be fired publicly by the Athletic Director. A notice needs to be put all to all fans that there will be a public determination of a coach's job at a certain time and place, preferably a large venue without seats (like a gym) for standing-room only capabilities. The Athletic Director will make whatever comments and background into a microphone while the coach sits there. The AD will then publicly announce, "You're fired!" In most cases, it's at this point that the room would completely erupt into jubilant cheers.
2) The coach has to be given an opportunity to get to the exit as soon as possible. After the firing, the crowd will divide in the middle of the room and part like the Red Sea, where they would be roped off 20 feet apart. The room will be arranged in such a way that the coach sits at the far end, as far away from the main entrance/exit as possible. At this point, staff will place large baskets of rotten tomatoes in the areas lining the getaway lane. There would be quite a bit of competition from the fans to be on the front lines with a clear shot at the exiled coach. The tomatoes themselves would have to be subjected to a very specific procedure to get them as rotten as possible. The fans may wear gloves if they wish, but it isn't mandatory.
3) The A.D. is then forced to do a ten-second countdown. The crowd would eagerly be counting down with him. The coach cannot leave his seat until the count hits zero.
4) The coach goes from his seat into a waiting car outside the building as fast or slow as he chooses. In most cases, the coach would sprint towards the doors, making himself a target for as little time as possible. The fans can throw as many tomatoes as they like as he goes by, but they must stay behind the ropes. The only supplemental protection available to the fleeing coach is a pair of goggles. Security would trail the coach, making sure not only that the fans don't cross the ropes, but that the coach doesn't go after and try to hurt any fans. The fans outside, also armed with tomatoes, can hurl as many tomatoes at the vehicle as they can while it drives away.
5) For his mistake, the Athletic Director must follow suit. For maximum humiliation, the A.D. must do another countdown, this time for himself. When it hits zero, he too must head for the exit and the procedure repeats itself.
6) These procedures would be standard in any contract, for both Athletic Directors and coaches. A coach wouldn't get one dime of any buyout money until he goes through the tomato process. Any A.D. refusing to partake would be contractually fired immediately.
This would at least give the fans something for their money. Imagine Will Muschamp running down that lane while the tomatoes fly. Imagine Foley following him. We'd all feel a little better about the situation.
I've only scratched the surface to how good this process could be. We got some very creative posters, so feel free to chime in with your own ideas. Let's get something together that we can formally submit to the NCAA for consideration.
Discuss.
It's a wonderful thing to be a fired college head football coach. Not only do you get to be relieved of all your duties and taken out of an extremely stressful situation, you get paid handsomely for it, often for YEARS after you're kicked to the curb. You can just waltz out of town on a carpet of money. It's really a slap in the face to the fans. You ruin their lives and get rewarded?
I think the fans, who pay all those salaries in the first place, need to be offered some kind of formal retaliation. Here's the proposal:
1) The coach has to be fired publicly by the Athletic Director. A notice needs to be put all to all fans that there will be a public determination of a coach's job at a certain time and place, preferably a large venue without seats (like a gym) for standing-room only capabilities. The Athletic Director will make whatever comments and background into a microphone while the coach sits there. The AD will then publicly announce, "You're fired!" In most cases, it's at this point that the room would completely erupt into jubilant cheers.
2) The coach has to be given an opportunity to get to the exit as soon as possible. After the firing, the crowd will divide in the middle of the room and part like the Red Sea, where they would be roped off 20 feet apart. The room will be arranged in such a way that the coach sits at the far end, as far away from the main entrance/exit as possible. At this point, staff will place large baskets of rotten tomatoes in the areas lining the getaway lane. There would be quite a bit of competition from the fans to be on the front lines with a clear shot at the exiled coach. The tomatoes themselves would have to be subjected to a very specific procedure to get them as rotten as possible. The fans may wear gloves if they wish, but it isn't mandatory.
3) The A.D. is then forced to do a ten-second countdown. The crowd would eagerly be counting down with him. The coach cannot leave his seat until the count hits zero.
4) The coach goes from his seat into a waiting car outside the building as fast or slow as he chooses. In most cases, the coach would sprint towards the doors, making himself a target for as little time as possible. The fans can throw as many tomatoes as they like as he goes by, but they must stay behind the ropes. The only supplemental protection available to the fleeing coach is a pair of goggles. Security would trail the coach, making sure not only that the fans don't cross the ropes, but that the coach doesn't go after and try to hurt any fans. The fans outside, also armed with tomatoes, can hurl as many tomatoes at the vehicle as they can while it drives away.
5) For his mistake, the Athletic Director must follow suit. For maximum humiliation, the A.D. must do another countdown, this time for himself. When it hits zero, he too must head for the exit and the procedure repeats itself.
6) These procedures would be standard in any contract, for both Athletic Directors and coaches. A coach wouldn't get one dime of any buyout money until he goes through the tomato process. Any A.D. refusing to partake would be contractually fired immediately.
This would at least give the fans something for their money. Imagine Will Muschamp running down that lane while the tomatoes fly. Imagine Foley following him. We'd all feel a little better about the situation.
I've only scratched the surface to how good this process could be. We got some very creative posters, so feel free to chime in with your own ideas. Let's get something together that we can formally submit to the NCAA for consideration.
Discuss.
It was just such an obvious troll job.
