Funerals

[cover2]

Hated funerals when I was much younger, particularly when losing loved ones (grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc.). Letting go and saying goodbye seemed like the hardest thing in the world to have to do.

But as I’ve gotten older and understanding how this whole mortality thing works, funerals are a little easier and it’s actually good to see loved ones, family and friends, and catch up, commiserate, etc. Maybe it’s a part of understanding that all of our time is finite and these gatherings are vehicles to take advantage of what’s left in a positive way.

Just wondering how others are struck.

 

[Nalt]

I hated funerals when I was growing up and I hate them even more as an adult. I get the whole, "seeing loved ones" and all but it shouldn't take a funeral to do that.

My FIL used to tell us, "don't bring flowers to my funeral if you aren't going to bring them to me while I'm alive." Seems pretty spot on if you ask me.

 

[Detroitgator]

When I was young (under 20), I was basically indifferent about them. They were something we had to go to. As an adult, I agree, they are for the living to remember the one who has passed and ironically, to see others that are still living that you should try to see more while they are living and at something other than a funeral.

I've also found that I "like" going to funerals of friends/acquaintances for the above reasons. I've also found that funerals for immediate loved ones can have a "schit show effect" behind the scenes (sometimes NOT behind the scenes), and it's why I didn't go to my little brother's funeral.

 

[cover2]

I hated funerals when I was growing up and I hate them even more as an adult. I get the whole, "seeing loved ones" and all but it shouldn't take a funeral to do that.

My FIL used to tell us, "don't bring flowers to my funeral if you aren't going to bring them to me while I'm alive." Seems pretty spot on if you ask me.

You’re right, it shouldn’t, but it does. Seems like a lot of life is lived at a fast pace, making it hard to find time to visit and keep up like we probably ought to.

 

[MJMGator]

They suck. The only thing worse is a wedding.

 

[Detroitgator]

You’re right, it shouldn’t, but it does. Seems like a lot of life is lived at a fast pace, making it hard to find time to visit and keep up like we probably ought to.

At least we'll all get together when T's mom goes...

 

[Nalt]

They suck. The only thing worse is a wedding.

The only difference between weddings and funerals is that after the wedding, the diseased walk our of the chapel

 

[Gator By Marriage]

They suck. The only thing worse is a wedding.

Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

A: There's one fewer drunk at the wake.

 

[TLB]

Once I was old enough to understand what was going on, it was a chance for me to say goodbye. Though, by my own beliefs, they become somewhat spritual and I can 'talk' to them anytime, anywhere...they just can't answer.

By nature, I try to be there for others, whether it was a family member or friend...but it's so damn awkward to know what to do (someone ought make a checklist...like how neighborhood moms sign up for nights to drop of family food when one neighbor gets sick or needs such support). These days my attendance is 30% goodbye, 70% seeing where I can help.

= = = = = =

My FIL used to tell us, "don't bring flowers to my funeral if you aren't going to bring them to me while I'm alive." Seems pretty spot on if you ask me.

To take this thread on a second path - what do you want when you pass?

For me, it's cremation and let the wife do whatever she wishes with the ashes. I suspect she'd want them buried with her to keep me close, I'd prefer to be scattered in the wind above her, to remain under the sky and 'around'.

As for the funeral side of things - I'd prefer a party. Don't cry for my passing, celebrate what I got to do with people while I was here, recall stories of adventures, talk reminscintely about personality traits (good and bad). Acknowledge I existed, note any impact I had. If I had one 'ask' of folks, it would be to take any good traits or deeds and pay them forward to someone else, let me live on in that way.

 

[Gator By Marriage]

For me, it's cremation and let the wife do whatever she wishes with the ashes. I suspect she'd want them buried with her to keep me close, I'd prefer to be scattered in the wind above her, to remain under the sky and 'around'.

If you go the scattering route, tell the Mrs. to be aware of her surroundings. Here's what you want to avoid.

 

[Nalt]

Once I was old enough to understand what was going on, it was a chance for me to say goodbye. Though, by my own beliefs, they become somewhat spritual and I can 'talk' to them anytime, anywhere...they just can't answer.

By nature, I try to be there for others, whether it was a family member or friend...but it's so damn awkward to know what to do (someone ought make a checklist...like how neighborhood moms sign up for nights to drop of family food when one neighbor gets sick or needs such support). These days my attendance is 30% goodbye, 70% seeing where I can help.

= = = = = =




To take this thread on a second path - what do you want when you pass?

For me, it's cremation and let the wife do whatever she wishes with the ashes. I suspect she'd want them buried with her to keep me close, I'd prefer to be scattered in the wind above her, to remain under the sky and 'around'.

As for the funeral side of things - I'd prefer a party. Don't cry for my passing, celebrate what I got to do with people while I was here, recall stories of adventures, talk reminscintely about personality traits (good and bad). Acknowledge I existed, note any impact I had. If I had one 'ask' of folks, it would be to take any good traits or deeds and pay them forward to someone else, let me live on in that way.

I have told loved ones that after I pass, I don't care what they do with my corpse. For all I care, they can just roll me over into a ditch somewhere and let the scavengers have a meal...

 

[cover2]

@TLB I’m leaning toward something fun and uplifting when I’m gone. I’ve already got a playlist ready (Boston’s “Longtime” is a headliner) and have some final thoughts and wishes I’m putting together to be read that will hopefully evoke some laughter and good memories. I’d much rather family and friends have some good memories upon my exit.

 

[TheDouglas78]

They suck. The only thing worse is a wedding.

My dad used to say, 4 weddings and a funeral were about 5 of the same thing.

 

[RiverRat]

Hate‘em
guess I need to come up with an exit strategy like Cover2

 

[Durty South Swamp]

Hate them. Try to do anything I can not to go.

 

[cover2]

Hate them. Try to do anything I can not to go.

I get it. It’s probably a good thing you weren’t at the funeral I attended Sunday for my uncle. In attendance was one of my best old friends growing up and through college years that I haven’t seen in a while. He also happens to be the Circuit Judge in Panama City. I imagine we’d have had a good time as he’s an old Gator! That is, unless there’s an outstanding bench warrant against you

Seriously though, it was a great opportunity after paying our respects to catch up. One funny story about the Judge…when he was first appointed, word got around that he would be in charge in PCB and one of our old cronies, a ne’er do well, reacted with “To hell with him! Where was he in ‘85 when they locked me up down there on that drunk and disorderly!” Nothing like a little gratitude to make you feel like somebody!

 

[Detroitgator]

I get it. It’s probably a good thing you weren’t at the funeral I attended Sunday for my uncle. In attendance was one of my best old friends growing up and through college years that I haven’t seen in a while. He also happens to be the Circuit Judge in Panama City. I imagine we’d have had a good time as he’s an old Gator! That is, unless there’s an outstanding bench warrant against you

Seriously though, it was a great opportunity after paying our respects to catch up. One funny story about the Judge…when he was first appointed, word got around that he would be in charge in PCB and one of our old cronies, a ne’er do well, reacted with “To hell with him! Where was he in ‘85 when they locked me up down there on that drunk and disorderly!” Nothing like a little gratitude to make you feel like somebody!

 

[cover2]

Your day’s coming, Buzz Cut

 

[bradgator2]

 

[AlexDaGator]

Funerals are a great place to pick up a chick.

Consider the widow. She's single, probably not seeing anybody yet, emotionally vulnerable, and probably has some extra cash coming in. Win-Win situation for everybody.


Alex.