NFL Player Sues for Sexual Assault after getting Hand Job on Flight

Discussion in 'Main Sports Forum' started by PastyStoole, May 20, 2020.

  1. PastyStoole

    PastyStoole Man, there's no boundary line to art. ~Bird Parker
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    Oh yeah. This might very well be the best end-run power move in history. Here is Pasty's take:

    The guy gets a "WC Handy" from the chick next to him on a flight from LA. Upon realizing that someone on the flight might have recognized him and possibly filmed it, he sues the airline and puts the following in the complaint in order to cover his tracks with his wife and the public:

    The woman continued her advances, the lawsuit says, pulling off the protective face mask the player was wearing and grabbing his genitals. At that point, the player jumped up from his seat and complained in front of the entire plane that the woman was touching him.

    Brilliant. I especially like the post-ejaculation, Shakespeare-in-the-Park theatre of jumping up and pronouncing, in an exaggerated voice so the whole plane hears, that you are an innocent party to an assault/JO.
    NFL player suing over sexual assault on plane
     
    #1 PastyStoole, May 20, 2020
    Last edited: May 21, 2020
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    • gatorfan81

      gatorfan81 Take it to PC member
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      I checked the flight logs no women were sitting on that row:uhoh:
       
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      • PastyStoole

        PastyStoole Man, there's no boundary line to art. ~Bird Parker
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        Exactly, he was sitting next to this thing:
        [​IMG]

        [​IMG]
         
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        • soflagator

          soflagator Senior Member
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          • cover2

            cover2 I've grown old
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            I’m going to reserve judgement until @Zambo weighs in. I thought that complimentary service was for cockpit personnel only. And @PastyStoole what does the “WC“ stand for? With Concern? Willing Choker? White Claw?
             
            • NVGator

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              Water Closet? Wheel Chair? :dunno:
               
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              • PastyStoole

                PastyStoole Man, there's no boundary line to art. ~Bird Parker
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                I'd go with "Water Closet," since it's often done anonymously and in the privacy of a public restroom. I named it after this fella, the Father of the Blues:

                [​IMG]
                 
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                • destingator

                  destingator Well-Known Member

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                  NO means NO. Some women I swear.
                   
                  • Musclepug

                    Musclepug never go full retard
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                    IMG_3748.gif
                     
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                    • 5-Star Finger

                      5-Star Finger Apex predator of the political forum biome
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                      "An unnamed NFL player is suing United Airlines, alleging he was sexually harassed, assaulted and violated"

                      :eek3:

                      tenor.gif
                       
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                      • cover2

                        cover2 I've grown old
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                        Not familiar with Handy (that one at least), but keeping with the musical theme and being single in the ‘80’s, how about “Wang Chung?” ;)
                         
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                        • Gator By Marriage

                          Gator By Marriage A convert to Gatorism
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                          There’s actually a bronze sculpture of him in Memphis on Beale Street, in tribute to a favorite son (he was from there) and his song “Beale Street Blues.”
                           
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                          • cover2

                            cover2 I've grown old
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                            Never been to Memphis, but have heard of Beale St. all my life. I don’t know much about the early blues either, but glad to get the opportunity to learn something new. Ashamedly, I’ve always associated Memphis with barbecue and after watching a True South episode on the SEC Network the other evening, it looks like Hot Tamales are a Memphis staple as well.
                             
                            • Swamp Donkey

                              Swamp Donkey Bring Back Squash
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                              This thread is why GC exists. Bravo to all.
                               
                              • soflagator

                                soflagator Senior Member
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                                “Take a moment to locate the exit nearest you, keeping in mind that the closest usable exit may be located behind you.”
                                 
                                • PastyStoole

                                  PastyStoole Man, there's no boundary line to art. ~Bird Parker
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                                  Yes, I first coined the term here: The WNBA - why does it exist? to describe the sexual appetites of a Gatorchatter member named Alvin. Some of you may recall that Alvin, who was an obnoxious Vols fan, lived in Memphis and was so obviously struggling with his sexual identity that it was painful. I described his furtive encounters with other anonymous males in the bathrooms on Beale Street as "WC Handies" - a rare and exceedingly clever Triple Entendre that was lost on him.
                                   
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                                  • cover2

                                    cover2 I've grown old
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                                    Any word on whether or not bronze statues are planned for A-List Hip Hoppers and Memphis/Orange Mound denizens Eight Ball and MJG?

                                    0ACB7FA5-3844-40FB-BD91-0E6B94C809CB.jpeg
                                     
                                  • Gator By Marriage

                                    Gator By Marriage A convert to Gatorism
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                                    Is there another kind of Vols fan?
                                     
                                    • 5-Star Finger

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                                      [​IMG]
                                       
                                      • Bait'n Gator

                                        Bait'n Gator Go away..... bait'n
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                                        What a b!tch that football player is, a real man would have poured the coals to her over the airplane toilet.
                                         

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