Parenting questions

[Concrete Helmet]

Alright so this isn't a particularly happy topic and since I really don't know who else to talk to about this I'll risk trying here since many on this board are parents. Forgive me if I ramble but this is a lot to pour out here.

Sitting in the pick up line today waiting for my son one of the school's administrators ask me to park my truck and come inside. My son attends a private Christian school and has since kindergarten, he's currently in 10th grade. It's a K-12 school and for the most part it has been pretty good and has grown a lot over the last 3-4 years. We like the direction and improvements they have made and not sure if it makes a difference, but we contribute heavily often buying school supplies for the entire school, athletic and playground equipment, gifts for teachers and such.

Well, I was a little more than shocked that today during chapel and 5 minutes before dismissal the school Dean told my son and a few others to who were sitting on the floor in an aisle to get into chairs which they all did except for my son who grabbed a stool and sat in the middle of the aisle by the door. The Dean told him to get in a chair and when he did my son stood up, turned and gave the Dean a shoulder in the chest while doing the "gangster" head bob and "sucking teeth" gesture....2 Days suspension!!!

As shocking as this was it also happened with his tutor/therapist at our home about 6 weeks ago. My son was diagnosed PDD/NOS(mildly Autistic) at the age of 3 and the Therapist transitioned into tutoring him about 4 or 5 years back since he had pretty much "mainstreamed" socially and at school. In this case he grabbed her by the collar and lifted her off her feet when she grabbed his phone because it was distracting him from his homework. My son is 6'2" 220# at nearly 16 years old.

After this happened, we all agreed to let him sink or swim academically....I often thought he used her as a crutch to help him get his homework done. Well as it turned out he had maintained a mostly B average over the 6 weeks or so but getting him to use our checklist is like pulling teeth. He simply hates talking about school whether it be academically or socially. He never talks about other friends from school but the Dean and other Administrator said that he seems to interact well with other kids, participates in activities (he used to walk around alone at recess when he was in 1st thru 5th or 6th grade most of the time).

He really only has one close friend who lives close to us but he is 2 years older and has recently met a girl who is occupying more of his time. My son for the most part gets along well with me and is always down to hop in one of the Mustangs with me and go wherever I'm going at the moment but outside of that we really have no common interest, and he really has no other interest besides watching YT and listening to sh!tty rap music.

I really haven't decided on any punishment for this and quite frankly feel like it might be some or all of my fault. I have a slight impulsive anger problem(verbally) and sometimes I make comments driving and have had numerous escalated verbal incidments with my MIL over the years which he has witnessed first hand(she's a bit of a nutjob).

Any advise on how to proceed from this place?

 

[MJMGator]

My son is only 9 so I’ve yet to deal with teenagers. That said, I’ve got a temper, too. What these past 4-5 years have taught me is it’s best to cool off and wait until you can have an open and honest conversation. It helps me be a better parent and it’s been very effective with him.
And the YouTube and rap music ain’t helping a damn thing.

 

[jeeping8r]

My Son was THE problem child growing up. Once he hit 10 or 11 wasn't so bad. We literally couldn't take him to a restaurant and nobody would watch him for us until around 6 years old.
Our philosophy was biblical, "spare the rod spoil the child". He was never beat but momma wore out some wooden backscratchers on his hand. He's now 35, did 10 years Navy and is now in the reserves, married a good woman and has a child as bad as he was . I used to tell him if he has an issue let's go outside and get it done, always told him he had the first hit and he'd best kill me.... Bowed up once then backed down. Normal part of growing up, questioning authority.
Will this approach work on your son now that hes older? Probably not but as my Dad said many times " Ain't no one, and I mean no one too big for a swift kick in the ass".
That said my BIL used to literally wrestle his son, and not playing.
He needs a knot jerked into his tail

Come to think of it my son probably still has some scar tissue on his ass. (not literally)

 

[URGatorBait]

I have a slight impulsive anger problem(verbally)

 

[soflagator]

Tough spot, Crete and I empathize with you. Full disclosure, I have a 12 and 14 year old, so I recognize challenges do change with each age, and this isn’t perfect advice. But I can relate to a degree as my oldest is very similar and considered slightly on the spectrum. So here goes.

Just at first glance, I’d guess he’s very quietly unhappy. One thing I had to learn over the years was how high a pain tolerance my son had, large because of his ASD. And while it’s the physical pain side of things that you have to keep and eye on, they just as often swallow their emotional or mental pain. We get so swept up in life, which is complicated enough today, that we sometimes miss things that should be obvious. And it makes it tougher when they’re not full blown, so it doesn’t command all your attention, but is still there. So consider even the “one real friend” element. Think back to when you were 15-17 years old and how many friends you had and were constantly around. They(my son is very much the same) don’t have that. And what’s worse, while they may seem not to care, they do and also know exactly why that’s the case. The grades story doesn’t surprise me either. Part of the diagnosis is that their brains go vertical. My son could tell you every type of fox there was around the world, or what a group of hippopotamuses is called when he was 4. That’s his thing. And yet, he’s basically at a 4th grade level in math skills. Because his brain naturally says “don’t like it, no interest”, even more so than we did/do. I say all that, not to defend or dismiss they behavior, but just to keep in mind with what direction you take. Striking a balance between understanding and seeing a crutch is the toughest challenge I’ve ever incurred.

In terms of structural change, again recognizing the differences in age, we realized we had to cut out a ton of stuff. Unfortunately, kids today are being poisoned at every turn, every second of the day. I realize every generation has said this, but it’s worse today than ever before. We’ve bounced back and forth between private, charter, homeschool and now a hybrid approach. Mainly just to limit some of their intake of garbage. Things like YouTube had to be taken away a few years back, or severely limited. I try not to be a conspiracy guy, but most of that garbage is just brain rotting nonsense, and you see the effects. I also went a little more militant in some of my approach, specifically with regard to current popular culture. Made my son read the lyrics of some rapper one time, in front of his mother, which he couldn’t bring himself to do. Another time, he made some fairly innocent gang like sign(again, all garbage they learn at school and in todays society). We spent the next hour looking at Google images of gang related violence and stories/pics of children shot and killed by drive by’s. It rattled him. No parent of the year award for me, I’m sure. But it got the point across. I know I sound old man mode, but it’s a garbage culture we’re glorifying today, and the results are plain to see. If your son is drawn to that, it will only fuel his angst and frustration with life. It’s not good for anyone, but especially kids that are already battling something else.

Last advice, those trips in your mustang. Do them more frequently. Kids today are already starved for parental attention just because of life being what it is. For the kids on the spectrum, it’s even worse. Double, triple, whatever you can, your time with him. For all the advice and books written about getting your adolescent child to talk to you and share their feelings, the simplest approach is just to give them the time to do so. It will happen eventually because, as much as they appear not to, they naturally want to do so. Just try to be patient and limit the anger in whatever punishments you decide to apply as that will only backfire at this stage.

Again, sorry to hear you’re going through this.

 

[AlexDaGator]

I lack the experience and wisdom to give you any helpful advice, but I can remember you and your family in my prayers.



Alex.

 

[Concrete Helmet]

Tough spot, Crete and I empathize with you. Full disclosure, I have a 12 and 14 year old, so I recognize challenges do change with each age, and this isn’t perfect advice. But I can relate to a degree as my oldest is very similar and considered slightly on the spectrum. So here goes.

Just at first glance, I’d guess he’s very quietly unhappy. One thing I had to learn over the years was how high a pain tolerance my son had, large because of his ASD. And while it’s the physical pain side of things that you have to keep and eye on, they just as often swallow their emotional or mental pain. We get so swept up in life, which is complicated enough today, that we sometimes miss things that should be obvious. And it makes it tougher when they’re not full blown, so it doesn’t command all your attention, but is still there. So consider even the “one real friend” element. Think back to when you were 15-17 years old and how many friends you had and were constantly around. They(my son is very much the same) don’t have that. And what’s worse, while they may seem not to care, they do and also know exactly why that’s the case. The grades story doesn’t surprise me either. Part of the diagnosis is that their brains go vertical. My son could tell you every type of fox there was around the world, or what a group of hippopotamuses is called when he was 4. That’s his thing. And yet, he’s basically at a 4th grade level in math skills. Because his brain naturally says “don’t like it, no interest”, even more so than we did/do. I say all that, not to defend or dismiss they behavior, but just to keep in mind with what direction you take. Striking a balance between understanding and seeing a crutch is the toughest challenge I’ve ever incurred.

In terms of structural change, again recognizing the differences in age, we realized we had to cut out a ton of stuff. Unfortunately, kids today are being poisoned at every turn, every second of the day. I realize every generation has said this, but it’s worse today than ever before. We’ve bounced back and forth between private, charter, homeschool and now a hybrid approach. Mainly just to limit some of their intake of garbage. Things like YouTube had to be taken away a few years back, or severely limited. I try not to be a conspiracy guy, but most of that garbage is just brain rotting nonsense, and you see the effects. I also went a little more militant in some of my approach, specifically with regard to current popular culture. Made my son read the lyrics of some rapper one time, in front of his mother, which he couldn’t bring himself to do. Another time, he made some fairly innocent gang like sign(again, all garbage they learn at school and in todays society). We spent the next hour looking at Google images of gang related violence and stories/pics of children shot and killed by drive by’s. It rattled him. No parent of the year award for me, I’m sure. But it got the point across. I know I sound old man mode, but it’s a garbage culture we’re glorifying today, and the results are plain to see. If your son is drawn to that, it will only fuel his angst and frustration with life. It’s not good for anyone, but especially kids that are already battling something else.

Last advice, those trips in your mustang. Do them more frequently. Kids today are already starved for parental attention just because of life being what it is. For the kids on the spectrum, it’s even worse. Double, triple, whatever you can, your time with him. For all the advice and books written about getting your adolescent child to talk to you and share their feelings, the simplest approach is just to give them the time to do so. It will happen eventually because, as much as they appear not to, they naturally want to do so. Just try to be patient and limit the anger in whatever punishments you decide to apply as that will only backfire at this stage.

Again, sorry to hear you’re going through this.

Thanks. The range of emotions is really going all over the place with this. There is no real formal punishment at this point except that he's lost his phone until we decided to give it back..... again.... I did make him mulch the entire front yard with me today when I cut out at the office before noon, and we'll work on the rest tomorrow. He is also working on an apology letter to the Dean at his school. I tried to probe a little today on the multiple trips to Lowes for mulch but he's really not opening up much other than saying he realizes he gave in to an anger impulse.
So true about back when we were kids. I lived in a neighborhood that had dozens of kids my age or pretty close. If we weren't playing football, basketball or some other activity we were beating the sh!t out of each other with massive wrestling matches in someone's backyard or hanging out at whoevers house was allowed to have a skateboard ramp in their backyard or trail riding dirt bikes in the woods close to our neighborhood. There was always something going on.

I do also wonder if he's feeding off of my wifes and my current vibes. We are currently assessing a major move with the business. Neither one of us likes making major decisions so we tend to stew on it over the last 6 months or so. We both tend to find ourselves in deep thought about it when we are at home...Major life changing decision.....

Sometimes I wonder if he is like me in that he doesn't really accept the fact that he is loved the way he is.....Growing up I felt that way alot as the "last child" and to this day my mother who is still alive has never told me that she loves me....not once. In his case he is almost an only child since his half brother and sister are much older than him and he lives with both of us and his grandmother who have in reality almost spoiled him.

 

[TLB]

First, this is a place you can trust Crete. As much as we might give each other sht about things, kids are important and we'd all want to help.

I have no experience dealing with kids on the spectrum, so any advice I can offer may be off the mark or need adjustment for proper situational application. I have a 16yo and a 14yo, but both are very high functioning, both in gifted and advanced in coursework, both hellasocial (unlike me, but very much like their mom).

Neither really display my temper much, but they've seen mine over the years and it's been quite bad - embarassing, ridiculous, etc. are all apt descriptions. I've used those situations to slow down and talk it out with the kid observing me, to explain what I do isn't intentional and more importantly isn't productive or helpful. An outburst may feel good for the moment, but we need to slow down and figure out WHY it happened and HOW I can change my reaction and handling of the situation. This is to both calm me down and reorient my head; but also to walk them thru people aren't perfect but they can work on getting better if they try. We typically close the discussion with 'dont be like Dad, be better'. So far, they have.

Other points I'd hit are covered exceptionally well by sofla. The rap music is a symptom, not a cause - it is a means to express their feelings even if they can't verbalize or realize it themselves. There's some unhappiness afoot, and without 'jumping in their sht' (how I phrase it with my oldest), let 'em know you are there for them and want to help them work through whatever is bothering them in life. Not prying, but supporting, especially while you can before they grow up and move out on their own. It's a parent's job (IMO) to make sure a kid is able to handle the real world on their own, and this is the time for building those skills - "I may not know all the answers, but I am happy to understand what you're facing and offer my ideas on how to handle it."

 

[soflagator]

Thanks. The range of emotions is really going all over the place with this. There is no real formal punishment at this point except that he's lost his phone until we decided to give it back..... again.... I did make him mulch the entire front yard with me today when I cut out at the office before noon, and we'll work on the rest tomorrow. He is also working on an apology letter to the Dean at his school. I tried to probe a little today on the multiple trips to Lowes for mulch but he's really not opening up much other than saying he realizes he gave in to an anger impulse.
So true about back when we were kids. I lived in a neighborhood that had dozens of kids my age or pretty close. If we weren't playing football, basketball or some other activity we were beating the sh!t out of each other with massive wrestling matches in someone's backyard or hanging out at whoevers house was allowed to have a skateboard ramp in their backyard or trail riding dirt bikes in the woods close to our neighborhood. There was always something going on.

I do also wonder if he's feeding off of my wifes and my current vibes. We are currently assessing a major move with the business. Neither one of us likes making major decisions so we tend to stew on it over the last 6 months or so. We both tend to find ourselves in deep thought about it when we are at home...Major life changing decision.....

Sometimes I wonder if he is like me in that he doesn't really accept the fact that he is loved the way he is.....Growing up I felt that way alot as the "last child" and to this day my mother who is still alive has never told me that she loves me....not once. In his case he is almost an only child since his half brother and sister are much older than him and he lives with both of us and his grandmother who have in reality almost spoiled him.

Cars, electronics, things that need to be assembled, etc. all come with an instruction manual. And the manual is vetted, accurate and and consistent. Parenting—the most important task we have—unfortunately does not, and whatever takeaways you remember from childhood are generally not full proof and may even be the wrong “instructions”. So we’re all learning on the job to an extent. Now throw in another wrench like ASD or any other disability, even on the lighter side, and it’s that much more difficult.

It’s good that you were doing some self reflection, and even thinking back to how you were raised. But it’s also important to remember that we weren’t quick to diagnose things back then. There is no question I would be given some type of diagnosis today, and you as well most likely. We were just told to get it together and deal with it. The resources and views today are both a blessing and a curse in trying to balance things.

But yeah, they’re going to take on your personality, so where possible, try to soften where you can. And at the risk of telling you how to handle your business, if it’s not critical that you make this transition now, maybe put it off a few years, so that the next two years can be more centered on him. Again, no idea the circumstances, so take that with a grain of salt. Main thing is don’t beat yourself up. It’s a disaster out there right now, and while we all want perfection from our kids, and hate the idea of it deviating from our original vision, you may be surprised he’s a better kid than you think and may just need a couple tweaks.

 

[MJMGator]

May be too late for this but I’m a firm believer that team sports has helped my 9 year old tremendously. He’s played 4 years of tackle football, about to start his 15th season of flag and has done 2 years of swimming. He’s learned how to be an exceptional teammate (wasn’t always the case) and put the team above individual accomplishments. He’s also learned that hard work pays off. He went from lazy in practice to all gas and no brakes. Kid goes 100% on every rep no matter what it is. That took 2-3 years to develop. It’s taken him from a B-C student to straight As and the praise from his teacher about his behavior, focus and work ethic has been awesome. Lastly, his social skills are now a strength and no longer a weakness. He has more friends than I could possibly keep up with. Before, we had to force him to interact with other kids.
Look for something for him to get involved in that you can be a part of to help build a better connection, Crete. We only have one shot at this, buddy!

 

[soflagator]

May be too late for this but I’m a firm believer that team sports has helped my 9 year old tremendously. He’s played 4 years of tackle football, about to start his 15th season of flag and has done 2 years of swimming. He’s learned how to be an exceptional teammate (wasn’t always the case) and put the team above individual accomplishments. He’s also learned that hard work pays off. He went from lazy in practice to all gas and no brakes. Kid goes 100% on every rep no matter what it is. That took 2-3 years to develop. It’s taken him from a B-C student to straight As and the praise from his teacher about his behavior, focus and work ethic has been awesome. Lastly, his social skills are now a strength and no longer a weakness. He has more friends than I could possibly keep up with. Before, we had to force him to interact with other kids.
Look for something for him to get involved in that you can be a part of to help build a better connection, Crete. We only have one shot at this, buddy!

You’re dead on about sports being a good outlet in most cases where kids are troubled. But just to shed some light on that, with kids on the spectrum, it doesn’t typically have the same affect. Where most kids would try something new, and if they have success, really dive in headfirst, my experience has been that their brains just don’t work that way. My oldest, for example, doesn’t like sports, but we talked them into playing football one day in the park. He has a TE body and was a total mismatch for the other team. Scored like three touchdowns. On the way walking home I suggested we should play again next Sunday and he’s like “naahh”.

And it would be the same with basketball. Think Ricky Williams, and the fortune he gave up because he simply didn’t like to play football. None of us here would do that, but for him it made sense.

 

[Concrete Helmet]

You’re dead on about sports being a good outlet in most cases where kids are troubled. But just to shed some light on that, with kids on the spectrum, it doesn’t typically have the same affect. Where most kids would try something new, and if they have success, really dive in headfirst, my experience has been that their brains just don’t work that way. My oldest, for example, doesn’t like sports, but we talked them into playing football one day in the park. He has a TE body and was a total mismatch for the other team. Scored like three touchdowns. On the way walking home I suggested we should play again next Sunday and he’s like “naahh”.

And it would be the same with basketball. Think Ricky Williams, and the fortune he gave up because he simply didn’t like to play football. None of us here would do that, but for him it made sense.

X1000

My son is strong as an Ox and would probably make an excellent Offensive Tackle(he's not a great runner) In fact I've had him practice blocking me in make shift backyard drills just for fun...he did very well and enjoyed it but when I ask about playing or at least watching games with me he just says no. It is the same way with fishing. He has been on numerous outstanding fishing trips both with me and chartered trips with my charter Capt. buddy and caught dozens of trophy sized Bass, Snook, Redfish....you name it. Whenever I ask him if he wants to go fishing with Capt. Don he will think about it and then ask "how long do we have to stay?" Like he would rather be doing something at home...

 

[Detroitgator]

X1000

My son is strong as an Ox and would probably make an excellent Offensive Tackle(he's not a great runner) In fact I've had him practice blocking me in make shift backyard drills just for fun...he did very well and enjoyed it but when I ask about playing or at least watching games with me he just says no. It is the same way with fishing. He has been on numerous outstanding fishing trips both with me and chartered trips with my charter Capt. buddy and caught dozens of trophy sized Bass, Snook, Redfish....you name it. Whenever I ask him if he wants to go fishing with Capt. Don he will think about it and then ask "how long do we have to stay?" Like he would rather be doing something at home...

I'm at a loss Crete... I don't want to say you are "too late," but, you're on the edge of it for sure. I think about this a little every day to think about what I want to say, but Sofla is all over it, and again, you're trying late in the game.

Crete, I will say this, as a brother (not an ass), who the fuk is "Capt. Don" vs YOU. Also, the drives are great, but fukkin TALK to him, as a man, yes as his dad, but as a man. You have a LOT of ground to make up... it sucks, it's not easy, it might not help, but you gotta try. Right now, you remind me of my dad, who i honestly believe TRIED to do his best and thought that merely being present and keeping us in one spot for school when he finally could (vs his dad who had them moving ever 18 months and was always buried at work) was enough, but he didn't TALK to me (other than through Cat Stevens and Harry Chapin songs).

Again, I think Sofla is nailing it given your situation, but man 'o man, you are in a tough spot age wise and i REALLY feel for you.

For any other dad's out there that have kids under 14, START NOW.

 

[stephenPE]

Damn. I was lucky with #1. Brilliant and always did the right thing. #2 struggles to this day. Works at Lowes, does standup comedy and weighs almost over 400lbs. He is active but he is gonna die in his fifties at this rate. Ok, my autistic son is 19 now and struggling. He does like to fish. I knew he wasnt a serial killer when I realized he loved animals. His sense of humor is crazy. I made sure the middle school teachers knew about his Aspbergers so they were ready for all the things that came out of his mouth. HS he finally learned some boundaries. I wanted him to run CC and track as he was fast and likes to run. But no go. He did ROTC for three years and loved the ritual and order of it. He never showed interest in driving and now Im tryng to teach him. He doesnt show the aggression like your boy but things bother him badly and getting angry at him does NOT work. He puts lots of pressure on himself. When he was middle school age he would get so angry at himself he would hit himself call himself stupid. I know he was realizing he was different. Im sure your son internalizes much of his anger. And probably realizes he is different from other guys and that probably bothers him. This seemed to work for me. Talk to him alone. Talk to him often. Tell him you love him and are on his side. You want to help him work through these issues. That you are on his side and are willing to listen to his issues. I know this sounds cliche but communication is huge. Many of us live in our own heads and that aint always healthy. Aspberger kids see the world way differently than we do. Its like a super power but also a curse. I ask my kids questions all the time about just stuff. Try to stay in his world if you can because I bet its a tough place for him. Praying for you and him, Crete. You just cannot give up. The more you show and tell him you love him the more he will trust you and maybe listen.

 

[cartman302]

My son was diagnosed with Aspergers' in 2006, when he was 11. He is 28 now. I'll spare you most of the details, but his struggles when he was younger were awful, and the experience that his mother and I had (amongst other child raising differences between us), was a driving cause of our divorce. That said, my son suffered through his teens- it was an awful time for him and my family. Ten years ago, he threatened to kill himself, and his mother (thankfully), had him committed to a mental facility in Cedartown, GA for a week. He got scared straight while he was there- no issues since. He has held himself accountable for his actions, and once your son gets through his punishment for what he did, you might see improvement in that area- the acting out and unacceptable behavior.

He largely went through the "typical" experiences that Aspergers' kids go through- inability to interpret social queues, bouts of self-loathing, hitting oneself, that kind of stuff. I can't imagine what his days were like in high school. That said, he graduated college, and has a job in his preferred field, film editing. Life isn't perfect for him by any means- he still lives with his mother, and he's never had a girlfriend. He does, however, want to buy a house AND get a girlfriend, so he's got his mind on bigger and better things. For that, I am eternally grateful.

So, Crete- my advice would be to keep talking to your son, spend time with him, and encourage what he enjoys doing (sounds like you are doing these things). I know it's tough to find common ground with an Aspergers' child- they are very one-track minded and its hard to relate at times. Remember, one can't force a spectrum/Aspergers' kid to be something they are not- they have their own pace and it can be largely frustrating/heartbreaking to the parents. Today, my son and I try to get together several times a month for a guy's night/movie night, generally starting with dinner and then we watch a movie, usually a John Wick-type of flick. I text or call him several times a week to see how he is doing, and for the most part, he is well. He has a small group of friends that he hangs out with, and he is a productive member of society. He loves animals, and cares for his two cats- caring for them has taught him responsibility, and he is that in spades. He will eventually learn what happiness can be, and I'm confident he will take those steps, just maybe not as fast as his mother or I would like.

I have felt for awhile (and I don't think I am alone) that many kids today are 5-10 years behind where are generation was at their age. So, I wouldn't get too upset about what's going on right now. It sounds like what happened is reversible/correctable, and in time you and your family can move forward. Just keep communicating with your son, and keep letting him know you support and love him. He will eventually find his way.

 

[Concrete Helmet]

Remember, one can't force a spectrum/Aspergers' kid to be something they are not- they have their own pace and it can be largely frustrating/heartbreaking to the parents.

I've found this to be true. My fondest memories of my Father growing up were centered around experiences involving sports, watching football on TV for hours with him and fishing. I still remember sitting in the crappy old bleachers watching the Tangerine Bowl games in the 70's. He would always get us tickets from work every year.

I've taken my son to several UCF and Citrus/Capital One Bowl games to get the live experience of the sounds, smells and sights of the real thing since he isn't really interested in watching football on TV. He was OK with it, but it was nothing that really wowed him...As mentioned before the same is true with fishing(despite having trips and catching fish that most people dream of)....I have also gotten the same reaction from taking him to drag races, car shows and such....he'll go but it's almost like he tolerates it instead of appreciating it.

I've just kind of written it off as it is what it is. This isn't to say that he doesn't enjoy going on vacations or even sometimes just driving to the coast to have dinner at our favorite Oyster Bar overlooking the water. But once we get to our destination he is usually more interested in getting back on his phone than taking in the environment.

 

[LagoonGator68]

Did you ever wonder what teachers, parents and children did in the forties, fifties and early sixties before all these fancy diagnoses were invented?

 

[LagoonGator68]

I’ll tell you what they did. They took a belt or paddle to that ass with regularity if needed. Phone privileges or other crap like video games were taken away. Permanently if warranted.

As the twig is bent…so grows the tree…

 

[Concrete Helmet]

Did you ever wonder what teachers, parents and children did in the forties, fifties and early sixties before all these fancy diagnoses were invented?

Funny how many fancy diagnosis there are though now, huh? I can only wonder why since 2 things were much more prevalent than those kids who were growing up in the time period you mentioned.....

 

[Concrete Helmet]

I’ll tell you what they did. They took a belt or paddle to that ass with regularity if needed. Phone privileges or other crap like video games were taken away. Permanently if warranted.

As the twig is bent…so grows the tree…

You are preaching to the choir Goon....

Problem is taking away the phone after school would prevent him from getting and turning in his assignments.