Tuesday Favorites…. Boat
- Thread starter CDGator
- Start date
- Sep 4, 2014
- 21,378
- 79,906
This was the yacht from Wolf of Wall Street, so I’ll go with it for dream boat. I need a place for helicopter to land and I understand there’s any kind booze I could want on it as well.
I’d be fine, and will likely end up, with something like this.
I’d be fine, and will likely end up, with something like this.
- Jul 23, 2014
- 11,865
- 27,024
Not a fan of boats...
Reminds me of a little story:
Alligator Point - 1988. Two years after UF.
One of my UF buddies married one of my Tallahassee friends and her Dad owned a beach house down there.
So ... we had a guys weekend where there were four of us staying and we did a little too much drankin' one night.
The boat that the father-in-law owned we had trailered down and had taken it out on the intercoastal.
It was docked and it had a little issue with the throttle. To get it started, you had to push it to Full and then once the motor turned over, you then had to back it off to a normal level. Remember this... I believe it's called foreshadowing.
Welp - one of my other buddies had hooked up with a high school girl that night and we were all so proud - but he didn't get back to the house until maybe 4 or 5am. More on that in a minute.
A bad storm was coming up around 6am and the guy who's father in law owned the house woke me up and said... "we need to trailer that boat. You go crank it up and drive it over to the landing and we'll get in on the trailer before the rain starts".
Fair enough...
So ..going on only a couple hours of sleep and hungover... or maybe still drunk... I jumped into the boat while my buddy was up on the dock. It wouldn't start right away and then I remembered to put it to Full throttle. And that's when the fun started.
Unlike the previous day, the motor turned over IMMEDIATELY and before I could back off the throttle the damn boat took off like a rocket. I was thrown back into the seat and I was trying to reach the wheel and the throttle as fast as I could.
The dock itself was shaped like a T and I was doing 90mph in parallel and managed to turn to the left to avoid the top part of the T formation.
Only to find that there were two large pylons/poles sticking out of the water for 'future expansion'.
As you may have guessed - I hit one of those poles head on. No seatbelts on boats so I was like that video that Ox posts occasionally of the folks on the boat getting tossed around. That was me.
As I hit the pylon I flew forward and broke through the thick plexiglass windshield with my head, face and left hand and ended up near the front of the boat. The boat began to do circles and when I shook off the haze, I kind of sat up and my buddy on the dock started freaking when he saw me. Apparently head and face wounds bleed prolifically. I got the boat under control somewhat and figured hey... at this point, I'm conscious and not dead, I'll just drive it over to the landing.
After I did that... it was time to head to the ER - in Tallahassee and long ways away. But the only one who could drive me was the guy who had gotten in only an hour or two before. Of course he was very difficult to wake up but...what are you gonna do?
Finally got to the hospital about 2 hours later and they put a bunch of stitches in my head and my upper lip as well as my left wrist. Two huge ass bruises on my inner thighs, apparently from the steering wheel. I couldn't shave my upper lip for a while either so I was 'forced' to grow one of those 1980's style cop mustaches.
On top of that... I was the one who paid for the damage to the boat.
Just not a fan of boats unless it belongs to one of you, and I'm invited.
Then we're good to go.
Just don't let me drive.
Reminds me of a little story:
Alligator Point - 1988. Two years after UF.
One of my UF buddies married one of my Tallahassee friends and her Dad owned a beach house down there.
So ... we had a guys weekend where there were four of us staying and we did a little too much drankin' one night.
The boat that the father-in-law owned we had trailered down and had taken it out on the intercoastal.
It was docked and it had a little issue with the throttle. To get it started, you had to push it to Full and then once the motor turned over, you then had to back it off to a normal level. Remember this... I believe it's called foreshadowing.
Welp - one of my other buddies had hooked up with a high school girl that night and we were all so proud - but he didn't get back to the house until maybe 4 or 5am. More on that in a minute.
A bad storm was coming up around 6am and the guy who's father in law owned the house woke me up and said... "we need to trailer that boat. You go crank it up and drive it over to the landing and we'll get in on the trailer before the rain starts".
Fair enough...
So ..going on only a couple hours of sleep and hungover... or maybe still drunk... I jumped into the boat while my buddy was up on the dock. It wouldn't start right away and then I remembered to put it to Full throttle. And that's when the fun started.
Unlike the previous day, the motor turned over IMMEDIATELY and before I could back off the throttle the damn boat took off like a rocket. I was thrown back into the seat and I was trying to reach the wheel and the throttle as fast as I could.
The dock itself was shaped like a T and I was doing 90mph in parallel and managed to turn to the left to avoid the top part of the T formation.
Only to find that there were two large pylons/poles sticking out of the water for 'future expansion'.
As you may have guessed - I hit one of those poles head on. No seatbelts on boats so I was like that video that Ox posts occasionally of the folks on the boat getting tossed around. That was me.
As I hit the pylon I flew forward and broke through the thick plexiglass windshield with my head, face and left hand and ended up near the front of the boat. The boat began to do circles and when I shook off the haze, I kind of sat up and my buddy on the dock started freaking when he saw me. Apparently head and face wounds bleed prolifically. I got the boat under control somewhat and figured hey... at this point, I'm conscious and not dead, I'll just drive it over to the landing.
After I did that... it was time to head to the ER - in Tallahassee and long ways away. But the only one who could drive me was the guy who had gotten in only an hour or two before. Of course he was very difficult to wake up but...what are you gonna do?
Finally got to the hospital about 2 hours later and they put a bunch of stitches in my head and my upper lip as well as my left wrist. Two huge ass bruises on my inner thighs, apparently from the steering wheel. I couldn't shave my upper lip for a while either so I was 'forced' to grow one of those 1980's style cop mustaches.
On top of that... I was the one who paid for the damage to the boat.
Just not a fan of boats unless it belongs to one of you, and I'm invited.
Then we're good to go.
Just don't let me drive.
Seedy
Totally not CDGator
- Oct 17, 2020
- 405
- 766
For some reason, I'm thinking you put it in gear, when maybe you should have put it in neutral and revved the engine. On some throttles, there is a button you have to depress to take the boat out of gear and allow you to operate the throttle while still in neutral.
At least that's what it sounds like.
I went out to our private dock and put this instructional video together:
@CDGator sounds like your timeframe in Tally -- Is this story being retold in Alligator Point folklore?
Last edited:
- Jul 24, 2020
- 16,018
- 44,448
That was you?!?
To this day my friends and I still talk about that idiot that didn't know how to drive a boat! We had come over from St Teresa early one morning to pick up a friend on Alligator Point to ski and we watched the whole thing play out. You are legend in those parts to this day. I was just at the Point two weeks ago visiting a friend at her beach house and I drove by the spot just for a giggle. There is now a plaque there to commemorate your survival.
All kidding aside @Gatordiddy it could have been so much worse.
Not a lot has changed on AP really except the property values.
We ate at Angelo's on the River and it was still excellent.
- Sep 4, 2014
- 21,378
- 79,906
Stories like this should really just serve as a reminder of how lucky our wives, and women in general, are. There’s almost zero justifiable reason that any of us men ever lived long enough to even be able to marry them.
- Feb 15, 2016
- 6,069
- 11,302
90% of young (younger than 25) men's last words are, "Hey dude (or bro, or bud or man) check this out."
- Jul 24, 2020
- 16,018
- 44,448
- Jun 12, 2014
- 8,974
- 32,472
Founding Member
Dream boat I guess would be something like this (but go back in time to 25-30)…
Probably name it something catchy, like Miss Conception.
At my age though, I’ve got the perfect boat…15 ft Scandy White with a 40 hp Mercury, stick steer, and a trolling motor. About all I need.
Probably name it something catchy, like Miss Conception.
At my age though, I’ve got the perfect boat…15 ft Scandy White with a 40 hp Mercury, stick steer, and a trolling motor. About all I need.
- Jun 12, 2014
- 8,974
- 32,472
Founding Member
- Sep 4, 2014
- 21,378
- 79,906
Almost forgot. In light of this thread, I’ve decided to name my boat “Diddy Really Just Do That?”
- Jul 24, 2020
- 16,018
- 44,448
Seedy
Totally not CDGator
- Oct 17, 2020
- 405
- 766
Sad. 24’ Sea Hunt.
- Sep 4, 2014
- 21,378
- 79,906
Ouch Diddy... but that was funny!
Sofla, did you used to write for Seinfeld?
Unfortunately no. Just a natural born smart ass. I may have left some money on the table somewhere, but oh well.
- Jul 24, 2020
- 16,018
- 44,448
If you ever lose your day job, whatever that may be, Ox could probably pay you in Oxbucks to entertain us more often around here.
- Jul 15, 2014
- 28,597
- 47,547
When I was working on boats as a teenager, there was an awesome Scarab a guy had on Lake St Clair named "Miss B. Haven" that I always liked.
- Jul 15, 2014
- 28,597
- 47,547
For "dream boat," while a super yacht would be cool, I'd actually prefer something that didn't require a crew. I'd like the smallest one that you could still have a hot tub on, but something like a Sea Ray L650 would do just fine for me. Definitely something I could do "The Big Loop" on.
That said, because we're going lake house route for retirement... I want a party barge like this... I could still try "The Big Loop" with it
That said, because we're going lake house route for retirement... I want a party barge like this... I could still try "The Big Loop" with it
