We need a thread dedicated to idiots

[MidwestChomp]

 

[URGatorBait]

So my wife works at a bank and yesterday she gets a call from some lady calling in to see if they have made arrangements for the bank shutdown that is coming up...my wife is like wtf are you talking about, of course not saying those words. The lady is like you better read up because the banks are getting shut down due to Trump (enter Trump rant here)....Dumb ***** thinks the banks are shutting down because of a possible government shutdown

 

[Captain Sasquatch]

So my wife works at a bank and yesterday she gets a call from some lady calling in to see if they have made arrangements for the bank shutdown that is coming up...my wife is like wtf are you talking about, of course not saying those words. The lady is like you better read up because the banks are getting shut down due to Trump (enter Trump rant here)....Dumb ***** thinks the banks are shutting down because of a possible government shutdown

There are idiots everywhere, like people who think the United States will ever be under Sharia Law.

 

[MidwestChomp]

I thought I would add something in here about me. Yes it's hard to believe, but I have moments of idiocy.

A few weeks ago the drain in the bathroom was clogged. So I took the pipes off and decided to spray the nasty schit outta the P trap. Well, I wasn't paying attention and had the other part of the trap pointed right at my face. I blasted the trap with the jet setting on the hose, and all that nasty hair, toothpaste spit, and makeup from the wife attached to my face. I came walking in the house and my wife just shook her head.

 

[TLB]

I thought I would add something in here about me. Yes it's hard to believe, but I have moments of idiocy.

A few weeks ago the drain in the bathroom was clogged. So I the pipes off and decided to spray the nasty schit outta the P trap. Well, I wasn't paying attention and had the other part of the trap pointed right at my face. I blasted the trap with the jet setting on the hose, and all that nasty hair, toothpaste spit, and makeup from the wife attached to my face. I came walking in the house and my wife just shook her head.

If we want to start a contest of stupid GC members, I'll be ranked pretty high.

Just for a warm up, there was the time when my daughter was only 4-8 months old. I'm changing diapers and want to make sure I cleaned everything up. So, I hoist her feet in the air to take a good look, and I'm talking to her to keep her calm and tell her she's a good girl. About that time, she has a fart pop out that sprays baby poop all over my face and in my open mouth. ... We did this on two different occasions.

 

[MidwestChomp]

If we want to start a contest of stupid GC members, I'll be ranked pretty high.

Just for a warm up, there was the time when my daughter was only 4-8 months old. I'm changing diapers and want to make sure I cleaned everything up. So, I hoist her feet in the air to take a good look, and I'm talking to her to keep her calm and tell her she's a good girl. About that time, she has a fart pop out that sprays baby poop all over my face and in my open mouth. ... We did this on two different occasions.

 

[MidwestChomp]

Here's another one. A few years ago I was pushing my daughter on her tricycle down the side walk. We were cruising along with my foot on the back step and we hit a crack in the sidewalk. I flipped up over the front of her tricycle and landed in the ditch. My daughter flipped over and landed on my head.

 

[GatorBart]

Here's another one. A few years ago I was pushing my daughter on her tricycle down the side walk. We were cruising along with my foot on the back step and we hit a crack in the sidewalk. I flipped up over the front of her tricycle and landed in the ditch. My daughter flipped over and landed on my head.

Way to go, Dad.

Here's a nice save:

 

[URGatorBait]

I thought I would add something in here about me. Yes it's hard to believe, but I have moments of idiocy.

A few weeks ago the drain in the bathroom was clogged. So I took the pipes off and decided to spray the nasty schit outta the P trap. Well, I wasn't paying attention and had the other part of the trap pointed right at my face. I blasted the trap with the jet setting on the hose, and all that nasty hair, toothpaste spit, and makeup from the wife attached to my face. I came walking in the house and my wife just shook her head.

silly vegan

 

[URGatorBait]

If we want to start a contest of stupid GC members, I'll be ranked pretty high.

Just for a warm up, there was the time when my daughter was only 4-8 months old. I'm changing diapers and want to make sure I cleaned everything up. So, I hoist her feet in the air to take a good look, and I'm talking to her to keep her calm and tell her she's a good girl. About that time, she has a fart pop out that sprays baby poop all over my face and in my open mouth. ... We did this on two different occasions.

 

[MidwestChomp]

silly vegan

The wife calls them Phil Dunphy moments...if you have ever watched Modern Family.

 

[URGatorBait]

The wife calls them Phil Dunphy moments...if you have ever watched Modern Family.

Yup, know exactly what you're talking about. hillarious show

 

[MidwestChomp]

Yup, know exactly what you're talking about. hillarious show

I am well into the hundreds for Phil Dunphy moments

 

[bradgator2]

Ive already told all my stupid stories.

That cyclist hitting the sign had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

 

[crosscreekcooter]

Way to go, Dad.

Here's a nice save:

Bless his heart. At what point did the kid realize his stool was gettin loose?

 

[Concrete Helmet]

Ive already told all my stupid stories.

Something tells me we won't have to wait very long for more... jk

 

[stephenPE]

I thought I would add something in here about me. Yes it's hard to believe, but I have moments of idiocy.

A few weeks ago the drain in the bathroom was clogged. So I took the pipes off and decided to spray the nasty schit outta the P trap. Well, I wasn't paying attention and had the other part of the trap pointed right at my face. I blasted the trap with the jet setting on the hose, and all that nasty hair, toothpaste spit, and makeup from the wife attached to my face. I came walking in the house and my wife just shook her head.

This is me. It only gets worse. I lost four just cooked hamburgers the other night. Daughter finally found them in the microwave............Today I was scraping mashed potatoes in the garbage. They smelled like sh#T and Im like how did that happen. Finally ,I realized the old lady put the rabbit cage sh#t in there...........the garbage can I was standing over.............

 

[stephenPE]

Oh, or the time my radiator was leaking so I emptied it and then while hot poured in water and warped the gdmam head. 2500 dollars later I have a rebuilt engine................

 

[GatorBart]

This is me. It only gets worse. I lost four just cooked hamburgers the other night. Daughter finally found them in the microwave............Today I was scraping mashed potatoes in the garbage. They smelled like sh#T and Im like how did that happen. Finally ,I realized the old lady put the rabbit cage sh#t in there...........the garbage can I was standing over.............

 

[GatorBart]

Oh, or the time my radiator was leaking so I emptied it and then while hot poured in water and warped the gdmam head. 2500 dollars later I have a rebuilt engine................