Death - got me thinking

[CDGator]

Yuk. Those 2 are easily in my top 5 worst ways to go. Lost 2 good friends to both and that is a horrible way to go.

I want to be shot by a jealous husband while in the throws of passion.

I lol'd at the last sentence in your post. Quite the goal!

Like Brad, I held my mom's hand while she passed. It was not an easy experience but thankful I could be there.
Seedy's dad was one of my most favorite people ever. The remaining 11 months with him were difficult for us all knowing the inevitable but we have never laughed so much together as we did at those Dr appts. The last days were so bittersweet.

 

[Bushmaster]

I lol'd at the last sentence in your post. Quite the goal!

Like Brad, I held my mom's hand while she passed. It was not an easy experience but thankful I could be there.
Seedy's dad was one of my most favorite people ever. The remaining 11 months with him were difficult for us all knowing the inevitable but we have never laughed so much together. The last days were so bittersweet.

*heart emoji*

I think the sudden death is worse for the family and easier for the one who passes.

 

[Detroitgator]

For my mom, I was holding her hand and rubbing her head when she took her last breath. Along side my wife and sister.

For my dad, we hadnt spoken in about 18 months and I get phone call from the police that a neighbor called in for a well check. Sudden heart attack and his body was laying there 9 days before it was found. Exactly 3 years after my mom.

Let's just say both experiences are impactfully tattooed onto my soul. I dont think you ever truly recover. At least never see things the same way you did prior to those events.

 

[Gatordiddy]

 

[Zambo]

News flash: We're all going to die. Few of us really live. Most people are so afraid of death they go through "life" avoiding the kinds of experiences that make one truly alive. I call them the walking dead. Still breathing, but already dead. Boring boring boring. The worst thing I can imagine is laying there about to expire and regretting not going places and doing things you wished you had done. "OMG you ride motorcycles....you could die!" JFC STFU.

BTW, me and my inner circle all have the "pillow contract" if you know what I mean. Not going to lay around in my bed shytting all over myself and depending on some other poor bastard to wipe my ass because my buddies will help me check out for good and I'll do the same for them. I'd rather cram as much experience into a 40 or 50 year short life than drag out a boring life into 80 years. Safety and health are just the act of dying as slowly as possible. Plus, humanity is going to hell in a handbasket anyway and I can honestly say I have roughly zero interest in seeing what this place looks like 20 years from now.

 

[Detroitgator]

My dad got cancer when I was 9, died when I was 20. My little brother got cancer when he was 24, died when he was 24. Both my parents, grandparents, in-laws, and grandparent in-laws have all been dead for a lonnnng time. Err'body dead except for me and my older sister who smoked from 18 to 55 (59 now) and she's dying slowly.

I know I sound flippant about death, but Brad knows my humor, and I actually truly understand/respect death and am not flippant about it with individuals. I've posted many, many time here about the importance of getting at least a bit of closure with people in their lives. I think it is really, really important. For me personally, it was critical that I got it with my dad and I was lucky that I got back from Germany to be with him (even though he was completely out of it) for 72 hours before he died... I got what I needed out of it and that day was the last time I have openly wept/cried (over his dead body) about anything (seriously, and it was a release of 20 years of frustration that I was able to let go with that closure., and that was December 13, 1987. I didn't cry when my little brother died and we were best friends... I still wonder about that one.

 

[Detroitgator]

News flash: We're all going to die. Few of us really live. Most people are so afraid of death they go through "life" avoiding the kinds of experiences that make one truly alive. I call them the walking dead. Still breathing, but already dead. Boring boring boring. The worst thing I can imagine is laying there about to expire and regretting not going places and doing things you wished you had done. "OMG you ride motorcycles....you could die!" JFC STFU.

BTW, me and my inner circle all have the "pillow contract" if you know what I mean. Not going to lay around in my bed shytting all over myself and depending on some other poor bastard to wipe my ass because my buddies will help me check out for good and I'll do the same for them. I'd rather cram as much experience into a 40 or 50 year short life than drag out a boring life into 80 years. Safety and health are just the act of dying as slowly as possible. Plus, humanity is going to hell in a handbasket anyway and I can honestly say I have roughly zero interest in seeing what this place looks like 20 years from now.

I agree with you in the main, but with one huge caveat: with kids, you have to temper that a bit (or even a lot). It is beyond selfish not to do so.

As for the "pillow contract," I have made it very clear to the wife and kids (and they all get it) that the day my quality of life goes to ****, or if I become a burden, or especially if my brain really starts to go, I'll end it myself. It is also why I am "pro-assisted suicide."

 

[bradgator2]

Damn - that’s tough.
I was also very close to my father in law. He had a bad stroke but mostly recovered.
The second stroke a couple of years later was catastrophic.
The only thing that could be done was bring him home under Hospice care.
The family gathered and it was an incredibly difficult three days waiting for him to pass.

That is identical to what happened with my mom. Except during the height of covid. So at the hospital they are like, "yeah, she'll be gonzo in a few days so we are sending her to hospice. Oh, and hospice right now is not allowing a single visitor." Fuch that. We told the ambulance to go straight to my sister's house where we didnt leave her side for 3 days.

Kind of a funny ending. By the end of the 3rd day, none of us have had a wink of sleep. We decided to split that evening. My wife and I would take 10-2 and my sister and her husband would take 2-6. We are like 30 minutes into our shift and I look at my wife and tell her there is zero chance I can make it to 2am. So we both decided to take like a 15 minute power nap. "It" started like 3 minutes into that nap. Talk about being jerked out of nap.

And for the crazy part, she died at 11:55 pm July 5. Many years ago, I had a younger sister who also died on July 5.

 

[Zambo]

I agree with you in the main, but with one huge caveat: with kids, you have to temper that a bit (or even a lot). It is beyond selfish not to do so.

Yes, moderation in everything. I can tell you this though, even though my Dad died of cancer at 62, the man lived life like crazy. Flew jets, rode motorcycles, etc. We was absent for quite a few birthdays and holidays but we didn't care. Knowing he was a badass out doing badass stuff was a source of pride and helped shape our outlook on life.

Conversely I have friends who gave up so much so they could 'be there' with their kids for every 'important' day. Like my one buddy who always wanted to do the Baja 1000 with us but every year the race is the same weekend as his kid's birthday so he never went. His kid couldn't care less about those birthdays but he would damn sure love to talk to his dad about what it was like to race the 1000. Now there is no story to tell. I guess they can alway reminisce about how much fun it was at the roller rink or the chuck e cheese that magical weekend 10 years ago.

 

[CDGator]

That is identical to what happened with my mom. Except during the height of covid. So at the hospital they are like, "yeah, she'll be gonzo in a few days so we are sending her to hospice. Oh, and hospice right now is not allowing a single visitor." Fuch that. We told the ambulance to go straight to my sister's house where we didnt leave her side for 3 days.

Kind of a funny ending. By the end of the 3rd day, none of us have had a wink of sleep. We decided to split that evening. My wife and I would take 10-2 and my sister and her husband would take 2-6. We are like 30 minutes into our shift and I look at my wife and tell her there is zero chance I can make it to 2am. So we both decided to take like a 15 minute power nap. "It" started like 3 minutes into that nap. Talk about being jerked out of nap.

And for the crazy part, she died at 11:55 pm July 5. Many years ago, I had a younger sister who also died on July 5.

I was talking to a friend last week whose husband passed at home from cancer during the panic stages of covid. Hospice wouldn’t even come inside and was leaving fentanyl in his mailbox for him. It’s criminal how people were treated during this time.

With Seedy’s mom we all agreed to not send her to the hospital (also during covid) because we didn’t want her to pass alone.

 

[deuce]

My dad got cancer when I was 9, died when I was 20. My little brother got cancer when he was 24, died when he was 24. Both my parents, grandparents, in-laws, and grandparent in-laws have all been dead for a lonnnng time. Err'body dead except for me and my older sister who smoked from 18 to 55 (59 now) and she's dying slowly.

I know I sound flippant about death, but Brad knows my humor, and I actually truly understand/respect death and am not flippant about it with individuals. I've posted many, many time here about the importance of getting at least a bit of closure with people in their lives. I think it is really, really important. For me personally, it was critical that I got it with my dad and I was lucky that I got back from Germany to be with him (even though he was completely out of it) for 72 hours before he died... I got what I needed out of it and that day was the last time I have openly wept/cried (over his dead body) about anything (seriously, and it was a release of 20 years of frustration that I was able to let go with that closure., and that was December 13, 1987. I didn't cry when my little brother died and we were best friends... I still wonder about that one.

I won't give this a like but I have some understanding.

 

[Detroitgator]

I won't give this a like but I have some understanding.

In a thread like this, I would take a "like" as just that... some understanding

 

[bradgator2]

I’ll throw in that I also had to put my dog down this year. That’s a whole different level of suckage.

 

[Gatordiddy]

Yes, moderation in everything. I can tell you this though, even though my Dad died of cancer at 62, the man lived life like crazy. Flew jets, rode motorcycles, etc. We was absent for quite a few birthdays and holidays but we didn't care. Knowing he was a badass out doing badass stuff was a source of pride and helped shape our outlook on life.

Conversely I have friends who gave up so much so they could 'be there' with their kids for every 'important' day. Like my one buddy who always wanted to do the Baja 1000 with us but every year the race is the same weekend as his kid's birthday so he never went. His kid couldn't care less about those birthdays but he would damn sure love to talk to his dad about what it was like to race the 1000. Now there is no story to tell. I guess they can alway reminisce about how much fun it was at the roller rink or the chuck e cheese that magical weekend 10 years ago.

 

[Gatordiddy]

I’ll throw in that I also had to put my dog down this year. That’s a whole different level of suckage.

Oh man - getting a dog is a countdown to sorrow.

 

[soflagator]

I’ll throw in that I also had to put my dog down this year. That’s a whole different level of suckage.

Oh good. Let’s round this thing out with putting down a dog stories.

 

[wrpgator]

 

[wrpgator]

 

[Detroitgator]

I’ll throw in that I also had to put my dog down this year. That’s a whole different level of suckage.

:scof…

Nope, not gonna do it.

 

[wrpgator]

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens
- Woody Allen