- Jun 11, 2014
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I Googled to learn he has written 3 books in a series, but no sequel on film. Referenced as the Vail/Stampler series
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017):
Plan to watch that soon with the family.
Good synopsis. I saw it and agree on all counts. It was kind of "Lord of the Rings" meets "Just About Every Cop Buddy Movie Ever Made Except These Cops Weren't Really Buddies".Bright (2017)
Will Smith is the only face you will know in a story that is a future state alternate reality where we share earth with Elves (rich, elite) and Orcs (big, strong, dumber) and there is mention of dwarves but none seen. Storyline revolves around Will being partnered with the first Orc to be made a police officer in LA. History says 2000 yrs ago (convenient number) a dark evil was set to take over the world and an Orc united the 9 armies to defeat him with magic. Now, some bad elves are trying to bring him back a second time using magic wands that only 'Bright' persons can touch - typically elves, though rarely a human (no hint dropped there at all, no ). Others are disintegrated if they touch a wand.
Smith deals with corrupt cops trying to get his partner kicked off the force because (racism) they don't like Orcs (they are essentially gang bangers at this point, having thrown in with the evil side since the great war). Despite getting shot because of his Orc partner, Smith is too good a guy to do that to his partner, though he does not want to be with him either. If you can swallow all this mulit-racial magic storyline, great - that got you through the first half the film. For the second half we point to a scene where Smith and his partner and some magic elf refugee are holed up and on the run and we pause the movie to have Smith explain exactly wtf is going on: We are on the run with a wand and an elf, with gangster Orcs trying to kill us for the wand, bad cops trying to kill us for the wand and because they don't like us, human gangsters trying to kill us for the wand, and evil elfs trying to kill us because they want the wand as well. And we can't call the (good elf) feds in for help, because Smith killed a handful of (bad) cops. Since the second half is a lot of explosions and shooting while on the run; throw in a scene about prophecy and resurrection, and sprinkle a healthy dose of swearing throughout the film (it fits the film, but I'm not used to that from the Fresh Prince).
The only boobs are somewhat plastic mannequin type of an elf who got magicked into a wall ornament. There is a brief romance in the beginning where we see Smith's attractive (white) wife and young daughter, but they are out of the film half way through and we never see enough of the wife.
Story earns 3/10, production value earns a 4/10 based on effort (elves, orcs, explosions) but doesn't make up for the rest, characters earn 4/10 (the partner is funny at times with how he processes things and appears slower in general). Overall I'm still struggling to give this better than 3/10. Skip it.
You die tonight!Game Over Man (2018) - Let me preface this with the wife and I have just finished watching the last season of workaholics and the movie is made by the same group, so we went in with an idea of the comedy. We expected it to be dumb, like real dumb. Like as dumb as URG is short (so really, really fcking dumb). It seemed to have cameos from every D list comedian that you know from that movie/show but don't know the name of in it. The humor isn't for the kiddos or for the easily offended, and by no means is it great. I found it a pleasant watch knowing what I was in for ahead of time. It is obviously a spoof on Die Hard. The wife and I found it so bad it was good, but that is what we expected to start with. From a quality of film stand point 2/10 from a entertainment standpoint 5.5/10.
ThreatMatrix Matrix: No boobs were seen or harmed in this movie, but might have helped a bit.
SQ/Casey/Tgator Matrix: at least one real cock and one fake cock were in this movie. Enjoy ladies.
My favorite part was dealing with the fairyGood synopsis. I saw it and agree on all counts. It was kind of "Lord of the Rings" meets "Just About Every Cop Buddy Movie Ever Made Except These Cops Weren't Really Buddies".