What do you do for a living?

[URGatorBait]

I snap necks and cash checks

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Dubs?

 

[Ray Finkle]

I currently have taken on a position as the GM and part owner of a water mitigation company. Basically plan to be there about 5 years or so. Should have majority share in 1-2. Build her up, sell her, and look for the next opportunity. I dabble in some property investments with a friend, but he does the majority there. Basically I get people aimed in the right direction in the morning and then go golfing.

 

[GatorBart]

I currently have taken on a position as the GM and part owner of a water mitigation company. Basically I get people aimed in the right direction in the morning and then go golfing.

A lot of flooding in Tennessee?
It's a rough life, but somebody's gotta do it.

 

[bradgator2]

I currently have taken on a position as the GM and part owner of a water mitigation company. Basically plan to be there about 5 years or so. Should have majority share in 1-2. Build her up, sell her, and look for the next opportunity. I dabble in some property investments with a friend, but he does the majority there. Basically I get people aimed in the right direction in the morning and then go golfing.

Like in-home pipe bursts?

 

[ThreatMatrix]

You only get 24 hours to save the world, right?

And don't forget about carrying all the stuff you need to save the world in one awesome man bag.

I was going for this:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0364888/
But the man-bag is nice too.

 

[Ray Finkle]

Like in-home pipe bursts?

Yep

 

[bradgator2]

Yep

Good friend of mine set her dishwasher and left for work. Came home to water pouring out the front door. That was an expensive clean up.

 

[Ray Finkle]

Good friend of mine set her dishwasher and left for work. Came home to water pouring out the front door. That was an expensive clean up.

Yeah. If it needs water, it doesn't need to be done while you are gone. Ice maker lines and vacations are an excellent combination for business

 

[Gatordiddy]

I snap necks and cash checks

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

 

[MidwestChomp]

Special Agent in charge of an elite team tasked with eliminating terrorists and other threats as part of USA's Homeland Security force.

By telling us are we all going to end up dead now?

 

[ppinesgator]

I travel this great country sampling copious amounts of beer at interesting pubs and bars.

And sometimes, before settling in for beer and some food, I get some healthcare stuff done.

 

[Concrete Helmet]

This thread....

 

[MJMGator]

More guesses...
Crete-crash test dummy
Diddy-male escort (now specializing in the country club scene with the over 60 set)
PIF-Paterno's bastard son
URG-Trump's hair stylist

 

[Gatordiddy]

Diddy-male escort (now specializing in the country club scene with the over 60 set)

 

[ThreatMatrix]

Good question - usually the stuff I don't work with regularly is documented in white papers / PDFs so I can always read up and refresh my memory.
And because the industry moves so quickly - typically the only time I have to remember the older stuff is over some beers:
"Why I remember those big 640kb mainframe hard drives that two grown men and a boy had to carry and we fixed it with a hammer"

"Two 5 1/4 floppies?!? I'll never use all that space!"

"My CGA graphics adapter is so much better than my monochrome"

"Wow - this portable only weighs 23 lbs"

14k Modem! That's screaming!

 

[AlexDaGator]

In Orlando when I was young and single "So what do you do" replaced the college classic "So what's your major".

Getting the same question over and over again, I made up a litany of fake careers and would choose one depending on how drunk or gullible the girl asking appeared to be. The more outlandish the story the better.

1. I design caster wheels for grocery carts. You know how they are always broken? We do that on purpose. Got the concept from the auto industry--planned obsolescence. That way the stores keep having to buy new ones.

2. I'm an engineer. Design injection-molded plastic novelty items. Both the plain kind and the ones that vibrate.

3. Crash test human. It's like being a stuntman. Stupid dummies keep taking all the good jobs though. Awesome benefits. Can't beat the health insurance. I broke this collarbone 3 times last year and it didn't cost me a dime.

4. I'm a chef. I create all the dishes and menus for the Orange County Jail. Let me tell you, our tater tots blow the ones kids get at school out of the water. Same pizza rectangles though. Had to take fruit salad off the menu last year. The inmates were fermenting it in their toilets to make booze. Have you ever tasted raisin jack?

5. Veterinary optometrist. Just like your eye doctor, but for dogs, cats, horses, snakes. I love animals so it's very rewarding. Frustrating though. You know, you dialate a dog's eyes, have him look into the lenses, and ask "ok, is it better now, or now?" "woof." Stupid dog just barks, you know? How am I supposed to help him if he won't tell me which lenses are better?


But of course, the porn star/producer was the best.


Alex.

 

[URGatorBait]

URG-Trump's hair stylist

 

[Silky Johnston]

I am the personal representative and booking agent for a stable of attractive young private entertainers. Very discrete.

I am also a purveyor of small batch, artisan made pharmaceuticals. Private sales only, thank you.

If you want a ho and some weed, I give you the daily double discount-- 10% off.

 

[Silky Johnston]

Meeting planner and I hate my job bc my boss is a raging ****! Currently looking for a new job as quickly as possible.

Well damn, give Silky a call!

 

[g8torhed]

I started at Tech Data in Clearwater and it was fairly primitive back then with XT and 286 computers. Not to mention 20MB drives.
And - bulletin board services for tech support over 2400 baud modems.
It's come a hell of a long way since then. Hard to keep up

I used to work for an educational software reseller in Charlotte, NC that bought quite a bit from Tech Data. :)