Explosive Diarrhea Links Peyton Manning, Major Athletes To Doping Ring

[Delg8tor]

I think it's fairly credible even though it's from Al Jazeera. They caught Teagarden bragging about it on camera, so it's obviously not staged. I did get a chuckle from the appeal they were trying to make to the American sports fan with their phony announcer voiceovers: "Mike Neal has the ball at the 40! He's at the 50! He's at the 60!!! Mike Neal scores another touchdown for the Notre Dames on Monday Evening football!!! And the crowd applauds vigorously!"

I have never and will never click on that website. However if you are being serious about the voiceover that's just too funny.

 

[Swamp Donkey]

Lefties LOVE Al Jihadzeera. They are one of the primary backers of every green group or lawsuit (especially against American oil drilling) and HATE Israel.

Its a match made in hell.

 

[crosscreekcooter]

Al Gore would not appreciate hearing you say that.

 

[TheDouglas78]

Al Gore made a lot of money selling his network to them....

Peyton having drugs sent to his wife (not the first athlete to do so) and his denials are very Armstrong like

 

[PastyStoole]

Sportswriters are falling all over themselves today to get out the sympathetic articles on Manning, but his career is ending in the same spectacularly embarrassing and shameful fashion as Bobby Bowden, there's no denying it. Although in whole a slurp fest, this ESPN piece contains a beautifully written nugget on the humiliating truth that is now Peyton Manning's career:

Manning has no choice but to handle it now. He was all bundled up on the sideline for part of an ice-cold Monday night, and he had to be wondering how his endgame turned so ugly and cruel. His body has failed him. His team has moved on without him. His replacement has shown enough strength, poise and youthful vitality to stay in there. And all anyone wants to discuss with one of the NFL's signature players and ambassadors -- in his final football hours -- is whether he once took a walk on the wild side to get back on the field. If this is Manning's final season, wow, it has been some retirement tour. The Broncos might still earn the No. 1 seed in the AFC, might still win the whole damn thing, and Manning might have to watch it all like he watched on Monday night.

https://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/...-qb-peyton-manning-deserved-better-ending-nfl

 

[oxrageous]

Denver actually has a chance in the playoffs now with him sidelined.

 

[oxrageous]

I changed the thread title from "documentary" to "diarrhea" days ago and no one mentions it? Did anyone even notice?

 

[Alvin York]

Ut oh Alvie. Looks like your demigod is going down in flames.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entr...6e4e4b0b958f6599440?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

Right. So this shocking expose flows from Al Jazeera’s Investigative Unit. These Camel Jockeys know more about song list of Milli Vanilli than the world of American sports. What's next, the Caliphate of ISIS issuing a fatwa on the evils of the NFL?

Word to your fat Mammy.

 

[Alvin York]

Word to Ox. Diarrhea? Of course that doesn't surprise me because I've always know you're full of S.H.I.T.

 

[PastyStoole]

I changed the thread title from "documentary" to "diarrhea" days ago and no one mentions it? Did anyone even notice?

I actually clicked on it hoping it would be the annual recount of your epic Explosive Diarrhea story.

 

[oxrageous]

I actually clicked on it hoping it would be the annual recount of your epic Explosive Diarrhea story.

This is a true story that happened to me on October 12, 2007.

At 5:30 that evening, I left work. I was so anxious to get out of there I had been ignoring some minor stomach pains I was having.

That would prove to be a mistake.

Thirty seconds after I left the office, the first stomach cramp hit me like a wrecking ball. I gritted my teeth against the pain. At that point, I began to get alarmed, as I knew it was going to take me 15 minutes to get home. However, my arrogance never allowed me to consider turning back. I mean, this is oxrageous you’re talking about – I knew I’d make it.

The following 15 minutes were some of the longest of my life. Stabbing pains came and went. I stared straight ahead, my elbows locked, my face cheesy white. I wondered over and over if this was what labor pains felt like. My bowels would clench and unclench, and I was using every muscle I had down there to hold everything in.

The last minute of the trip was a nightmare. The look on my face was of a man trying to lift a piano. There was a moment or two where I honestly thought I was going to empty everything into my front seat.

I flew into my garage, nearly taking the roof off my Jeep on the rising garage door. I jumped out of the car without bothering to take the keys out of the ignition, and staggered into the house.

This is where it gets REALLY scary, as walking upright made the problem quite a bit worse. Whatever was in there (and it felt like a 30-pound ground turkey) was going to come out whether I liked it or not - I wasn't going to get a vote. As the bathroom came into view, only my butt cheeks were holding the offensive substance out – my anus had finally surrendered.

As I stumbled into the bathroom, I saw with horror that the seat was up – I really didn’t think I even had time to put it down. Somehow I managed to drop the seat and my pants at the same time. Everything began evacuating itself as I was in mid-air, my bum headed for the bowl.

It was a dead heat.

Incredibly, there was no spillage either in my drawers, the floor, the ceiling, or the wall. Somehow, I had pulled it off. I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments.

I sat there a full ten minutes, my face buried in my hands, sweating heavily. I felt like I had given birth.

 

[GatorBart]

I changed the thread title from "documentary" to "diarrhea" days ago and no one mentions it? Did anyone even notice?

 

[GatorBart]

I changed the thread title from "documentary" to "diarrhea" days ago and no one mentions it? Did anyone even notice?

Ha! The funny thing is that I thought diarrhea was a symptom of taking the PEDs and PM was known for having diarrhea, like ALL THE TIME.

 

[Swamp Donkey]

I changed the thread title from "documentary" to "diarrhea" days ago and no one mentions it? Did anyone even notice?

We just thought youd explain it at some point, Mr Catchy Thread Title Guy.

 

[NavetG8r]

Lefties LOVE Al Jihadzeera.

You callin me a lefty? Them's fightin words.




I noticed you changed the title Ox, but just didn't say anything.

 

[GatorStud]

The anal mouthpiece of the progressive, liberal democratic party... the Huffing and Puffing Post plus a measure of Al Jazeera... seems like you aptly renamed the thread.

 

[crosscreekcooter]

This is a true story that happened to me on October 12, 2007.

At 5:30 that evening, I left work. I was so anxious to get out of there I had been ignoring some minor stomach pains I was having.

That would prove to be a mistake.

Thirty seconds after I left the office, the first stomach cramp hit me like a wrecking ball. I gritted my teeth against the pain. At that point, I began to get alarmed, as I knew it was going to take me 15 minutes to get home. However, my arrogance never allowed me to consider turning back. I mean, this is oxrageous you’re talking about – I knew I’d make it.

The following 15 minutes were some of the longest of my life. Stabbing pains came and went. I stared straight ahead, my elbows locked, my face cheesy white. I wondered over and over if this was what labor pains felt like. My bowels would clench and unclench, and I was using every muscle I had down there to hold everything in.

The last minute of the trip was a nightmare. The look on my face was of a man trying to lift a piano. There was a moment or two where I honestly thought I was going to empty everything into my front seat.

I flew into my garage, nearly taking the roof off my Jeep on the rising garage door. I jumped out of the car without bothering to take the keys out of the ignition, and staggered into the house.

This is where it gets REALLY scary, as walking upright made the problem quite a bit worse. Whatever was in there (and it felt like a 30-pound ground turkey) was going to come out whether I liked it or not - I wasn't going to get a vote. As the bathroom came into view, only my butt cheeks were holding the offensive substance out – my anus had finally surrendered.

As I stumbled into the bathroom, I saw with horror that the seat was up – I really didn’t think I even had time to put it down. Somehow I managed to drop the seat and my pants at the same time. Everything began evacuating itself as I was in mid-air, my bum headed for the bowl.

It was a dead heat.

Incredibly, there was no spillage either in my drawers, the floor, the ceiling, or the wall. Somehow, I had pulled it off. I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments.

I sat there a full ten minutes, my face buried in my hands, sweating heavily. I felt like I had given birth.

This post deserves its own thread in the Saloon. Name the thread something like Sometimes pooping is like giving birth.
There are plenty of folks on here that would love to share.

 

[ThreatMatrix]

Not sure which is least credible, Al Jezzera or Huffington Post.

 

[bradgator2]

Ironic Ox told his story today. I thought I had to pass normal gas today. Very routine business as I am in a private office, so I can just let it go without worry.

Immediately upon expel, something didnt feel quite right. I quickly tried to shut it down, but it was too late. To my surprise, it was not gas... It was explosive diarrhea. Which was really odd, because there were no warning signs.

Luckily, a private bathroom is right next to my office. I quickly sprint in there unnoticed. First things first, I had to finish what I started. As I am sitting there, it gives me a good chance to examine my underwear. What I thought was a little squirt, was actually a terrible exorcism. Salvage was not possible. By the grace of God, nothing leaked through to my pants. Cleaning up my bum took the entire roll of TP. Luckily, the trash can has a plastic bag in it. So I could wrap all the evidence. I threw the bag in the trash can in a coworker's office I cant stand.

The rest of today, I was obviously commando. When I get home, my wife follows me the the closet where I am changing. The look on her face when she saw I had on no underwear was priceless.

 

[biggator6]

If we're doing poop stories...

https://www.celebritynetworth.com/a...-embarrassing-private-jet-flight-of-all-time/