A true competitor hates losing vastly more than he likes winning.
You know, i never really thought about this enough to enshrine it in a statement like you have, but the more i think about it, the more im convinced this is a universal truth.
I was extremely competitive growing up through gradeschool and into college. Played a variety of sports and would outwork and out hustle anyone i came in contact with on a sports field. I made myself one of the fastest SOBs you would ever meet and was one of the best players on the team no matter what sport season it was. I won a crap ton more than i ever lost, but winning was never truly satisfying. I still felt hungry and unfulfilled after a win, even against a really good team, but man... when we lost. I hated it with everything in my being.
I still remember virtually every loss I ever suffered in baseball, basketball, football, and yes, even soccer (no homo). I can describe to you the circumstances, the score, the events leading up to the loss, how i played, how my teammates did, what the other team did, etc.
I couldnt tell you the first thing about the wins, other than maybe the score and a few plays i made. The wins didnt matter. The losses meant EVERYTHING, still do, and I'll remember them and stew about them for the rest of my life.
That's the type of mentality we need as an HC. It's probably also why I'm so negative and been so unsatisfied since Urban left. He and Spurrier were winners. We haven't had a single one since. Players can celebrate a win, coaches need to remain unsatisfied and hungry for more. If we ever hire another coach whos dancing with the players in the locker room after a game, and its the not the national championship that was just played, you might as well fire that worthless pile right then and there, because he's a loser. Period.