Ford will be next. Maybe if everyone is inside during these storms this afternoon we can knock them out (pun intended).Let’s get it back on track, ladies.
What’s next...the Ford Bracket or the Roosevelt Bracket?
except you were comparing regean and trump...Lincoln was a champion wrestler, had at least 3 inches on Trump, and even in Trump's athletic peak, he was maybe an above average baseball player on a team full of rich kids. Lincoln would have whooped his ass without breaking a sweat and then built a log cabin with his bare hands.
ROUND #1 RESULT: GEORGE W BUSH -VS- GEORGE H.W. BUSH
Interesting matchup here. H.W. in his peak was a war hero, demonstrated toughness and resolve, and a good athlete. He also had the tale of the tape advantage, with a significant height and reach advantage.
W was no slouch either, and while many point out his “cheerleader” days in HS and at Yale, he was also an athlete and in generally good condition. Again, this one on paper says that H.W. has the height, reach, and toughness advantage, but there is one thing that W had in his favor....
Sweet cocaine.
At his peak physical condition, W also did coke, and as it turns out, he was coked up for the fight, and as we’ve all seen on episodes of Cops!, when you’re coked up you just don’t care and have the strength of 3 men. W overpowers HW, biting off one of his fingers (which he later regretted), and takes Pops out!
COKED UP W WINS!
ROUND #1 RESULT: GEORGE W BUSH -VS- GEORGE H.W. BUSH
Interesting matchup here. H.W. in his peak was a war hero, demonstrated toughness and resolve, and a good athlete. He also had the tale of the tape advantage, with a significant height and reach advantage.
W was no slouch either, and while many point out his “cheerleader” days in HS and at Yale, he was also an athlete and in generally good condition. Again, this one on paper says that H.W. has the height, reach, and toughness advantage, but there is one thing that W had in his favor....
Sweet cocaine.
At his peak physical condition, W also did coke, and as it turns out, he was coked up for the fight, and as we’ve all seen on episodes of Cops!, when you’re coked up you just don’t care and have the strength of 3 men. W overpowers HW, biting off one of his fingers (which he later regretted), and takes Pops out!
COKED UP W WINS!
So you think a Yale baseball player is tougher than a WWII pilot who also was the head guy of the CIA???
ROUND #1 RESULT: JACKSON -VS- FDR
Results of this fight are too gruesome to share at this time. Maybe, with some time to recover, I’ll give some details. However...
JACKSON WINS.
EDIT: Here are the details of the fight, for those so inclined. I caution that if you are squeamish or get queezy, you might not read further.
Andrew Jackson has notoriety of being the “bad boy” of the presidents, challenging others to duels and taking a bullet to the chest and surviving, beating people with his hickory cane, being an overall curmudgeon, willing to fight dirty and do whatever it takes to win.
FDR, ever the gentleman, carried himself with dignity, grace...a quiet strength epitomized by someone who never loses his head.
Jackson, ever brooding, stood in his corner waiting for the bell, a wild look in his eye. FDR, sizing up his opponent, looking to use his stamina to outlast his lanky opponent. The bell rings....
...and, reaching into his pants, Jackson pulls out a machete (completely against the rules), and in a flash crosses the ring, and with a violent swing, hits FDR squarely in the neck...
Yep, 5 seconds into the fight, Jackson lops off FDRs head. The crowd goes silent, except for subtle whimpers and crying, as Jackson slowly looks around the perimeter of the ring, blood dripping from his weapon. He then smiles, and begins licking blood off of the machete.
This dude is Futher Mucking bat-shyt crazy. What he does next is unmentionable, but let’s just say that it rhymes with “full skucks” his opponents head, laughing wildly the entire time.
While clearly and totally a violation of the rules of the Presidential beatdown...nobody is willing to say anything to Jackson, and he slowly exits the arena.