Random, sometimes funny, gif and post padding thread #4

[Treebeard]

TWO NUNS WERE SHOPPING AT A 7-11 STORE. AS THEY PASSED BY THE BEER COOLER, ONE NUN SAID TO THE OTHER, " WOULDN'T A NICE COOL BEER OR TWO TASTE WONDERFUL ON A HOT SUMMER EVENING?"

THE SECOND NUN ANSWERED, "INDEED IT WOULD, SISTER, BUT I WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE BUYING BEER, SINCE I AM CERTAIN IT WOULD CAUSE A SCENE AT THE CHECKOUT STAND."

"I CAN HANDLE THAT WITHOUT A PROBLEM" THE OTHER NUN REPLIED, AND SHE PICKED UP A SIX-PACK AND HEADED FOR THE CHECK-OUT.

THE CASHIER HAD A SURPRISED LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN THE TWO NUNS ARRIVED WITH A SIX-PACK OF BEER. "WE USE BEER FOR WASHING OUR HAIR" THE NUN SAID, "BACK AT OUR NUNNERY, WE CALL IT CATHOLIC SHAMPOO".

WITHOUT BLINKING AN EYE, THE CASHIER REACHED UNDER THE COUNTER. PULLED OUT A PACKAGE OF PRETZEL STICKS, AND PLACED THEM IN THE BAG WITH THE BEER.

HE THEN LOOKED THE NUN STRAIGHT IN THE EYE, SMILED, AND SAID:

"THE CURLERS ARE ON THE HOUSE."

 

[Treebeard]

 

[Treebeard]

 

[Treebeard]

 

[AugustaGator]

I've done this like three times the last couple weeks.

 

[CGgater]

I don't get it. Is there a punchline? Or was this just a helpful handyman tip?

 

[Treebeard]

I don't get it. Is there a punchline? Or was this just a helpful handyman tip?

OK, explaining the joke isn't usually the thing around but I will be polite.

For a lot of people - myself included - when you are done with a project there are always wood scraps leftover. Some of them - heck, most of them - are too big to throw out, but just too small to be really useful. So they sit in the garage/shed/woodbin until you die and your heirs have to throw them out.

Now stuck in quarantine, man finds a use for piece of wood that has been around for 38 years!

Does that help?

 

[CGgater]

OK, explaining the joke isn't usually the thing around but I will be polite.

For a lot of people - myself included - when you are done with a project there are always wood scraps leftover. Some of them - heck, most of them - are too big to throw out, but just too small to be really useful. So they sit in the garage/shed/woodbin until you die and your heirs have to throw them out.

Now stuck in quarantine, man finds a use for piece of wood that has been around for 38 years!

Does that help?

That depends... was your answer laced with as much sarcasm as mine?

 

[Treebeard]

 

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[Gatordiddy]

always wondered why it’s pronounced baloney when it clearly says bologna.

 

[Treebeard]

 

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[Treebeard]

 

[Treebeard]

 

[Treebeard]

 

[Treebeard]