I didnt know if I should put this one in the "dumbest" thread or this one. Probably the dumbest thread, but I am sure it will get a chuckle in here. I dont know how close to death I was, but it was certainly scary and something I will never forget.
My cousins are huge rednecks and huge hunters. About 7 years ago, they really got into alligator hunting and finally convinced me to come along one night (against my wife's wishes). If my memory is correct, there are 3 things you have to do in order for it to be a legal kill (besides correct license, time of year, etc) you have to hook the gator with a treble hook, then you have to spear the gator, then you can hit it on the head with a bang stick (basically a 22 shell on the end of pole). It's 2 am and we are on a lake near Starke, in one of those little aluminum john boats made for 2 people. Except there are 4 of us in it.
They throw a hook on a gator and he sinks. They say he'll stay under water for about an hour. Since it is my first time, I get to put the spear through him. As we are waiting for him to surface, they warn me that his back is basically like concrete. They also tell me that none of them were able to punch that spear through on their first try. We see some bubbles after about an hour. It's time. They are yelling at me, pumping me up, like a coach just before the team runs onto the field. I am thinking to myself, "noway are they going to make fun of me, I am going to get this spear though". We can see the gator coming up. I stand up in the john boat. I am bracing myself and I am in position to put all my weight and everything I have into this spear. The gator breaks the water surface and I go for it.
I 100% missed.
All of my momentum carries me overboard and I land right on that bastard's back. I have no memory after that. It was pure chaos. Within 0.4 seconds my family snatches me out of the water and back into the boat. I literally had no idea what in the hell just happened because it was so fast. I honestly thought the boat flipped and we were all in the water.
After it was determined that I was ok, they are laughing hysterically. Uncontrollable really. I catch my breath after a few minutes and I take off my hat. My hair and hat were 100% bone dry.