[QUOTE="cover2, post: 1238787, member: 68"
- We used corporal punishment. I had “the belt” and the kids knew where it hung. The rule was 3 licks max for disobedience, disrespect, and/or doing anything that could potentially harm or kill them or someone else. Never spank in anger. Explain concisely why they are being punished. Be consistent. The spanking graph for both of our kids declined dramatically as they got older and by the time they were teenagers, spanking was mostly a thing of the past. I didn’t believe in using my hand after they were school age. However, the son decided when he was 18 and had just graduated from HS that he could talk loud to his mom. When I verbally corrected him, he decided to challenge me. We were driving to Sunday School and I turned the car around and drove back to the house. He didn’t think I was serious, but I told him that if he thought that was the way a man behaved I needed to let him know that wasn’t acceptable. So we squared off. Mom was crying, Jr. was telling me he’d put my old ass in the hospital. He got his shot at the championship. I still have the trophy. Not proud of that moment, but it was necessary. He hasn’t raised his voice since
:)
I’ll never forget an old friend of mine told me he had a knock down drag out with his 18 year old step-son, who was much bigger than him. He ended up wrestling him into a position where he couldn’t strike out at him and held him there until he quit. In his words, you can’t lose that fight because if you do, one of you is moving out at the end of it.
My 16 year old stepped into me the other day after he made it clear he wasn’t interested in what I told him to do. I immediately stepped even closer to him and told him he better be ready to get knocked on his ass if he made any further moves. His face immediately went from anger to shock, and then to remorse. He backed down, and I told him if that happened again he would not get off that easy, and that he better never try and intimidate his Mom that way. I put it down to teens pushing the old envelope to see what they could get away with. Hoping that lesson has been learned and hopefully will never happen again. The good news is his younger, yet bigger, brother witnessed the whole thing and his eyes were as wide as saucers so hopefully got a twofer out of it![/QUOTE]
I guess at some point the young bull is going to try the old bull to see who runs the herd. You’re right about the loser having to pack up and leave. I believe it happens in most households. I had my own moment with my granddaddy who raised me, though it was a little different. When I was sixteen and trying to figure things out, granddad, who had a pretty strong drinking problem, came in late one week night and he and my grandmama got into it. My bed was in the basement and I could hear them loudly arguing. Then a loud crash. He had ripped the phone off of the wall and threw it at her. She started hollering for me and I came running in my skivvies.
I was pretty well-framed at the time from football and working out and when I got in between them I guess it came across as pretty aggressive. I remember my granddaddy taking a surprised step back and then telling me “You think you’re big and bad with your muscles, don’t you? Well, I’ve got something for you! “ And he turned and headed to his bedroom. I quickly realized he was going after his .38 that stayed in the drawer in his bedside table. My grandmama told me to get gone to my mother’s house and she’d call me when things settled. So I hauled tail!
After a couple of days, my grandmama called and said to come on home. When I saw my granddaddy, he never made mention of the incident and though he continued to drink, he and my grandmama never had another argument. So, I guess some good came from it. I had a couple of takeaways...the new bull and the old bull will eventually tangle and though the new bull may have the edge in strength, the old bull has experience and he also knows he’s fighting for the herd, so anything goes! This was another not-so-proud moment because my granddaddy stepped in from the time my daddy left when I was four years old and loved me and raised me, so I felt quite a bit of shame for having bowed up at him. However, I also learned that there will be times and places in your life that you have to put your feelings aside and be willing to do what has to be done and in the case with my own son, I think he understands that now.