Tales From Gentlemen's Establishments...

[GatorFL]

These stories are awesome, I have one I can share.

My buddy Ken got married in 1996, we threw him a huge bachelor party. Rented a van, stocked it with liquor and a cooler full of beer, assigned a DD and went to peruse the clubs in Orlando. We started out raunchy and worked our way up to Rachel's, it was the premier establishment at the time. Needless to say we were all feeling real good, including the DD.

A few songs in and our buddy Mark started to get touchy feely with one of the girls. Being Orlando, maybe they called them characters or cast members, I can't remember. Bouncer came over and told him to knock it off. Mark stood up and he was bigger than the bouncer. Mark is a legend in our circle, he's got a Mike Tyson voice but at the time he was probably 6'2" 240# of muscle. He told the bouncer to **** off and he'd beat his ass if he came around again. We got the message to try and keep him under control.

Couple cast members later and this dancer shows up. Thin build, great body, nice brown hair. Her unusual feature? Her nipples are about an inch and a half long. Definitely unusual, none of us has seen anything like that. Mark turns to me and says "she could poke somebody's eyes out with one of those" and I knew it was gonna end badly. Halfway through her dance he reaches up to grab one. She flees the stage and the bouncer comes over. Mark is ready to brawl so the bouncer turns around and leaves.

5 minutes later I'm taking a leak and see the cops show up. The bouncer and nipples are giving them the lowdown. I scurry over and tell the group we gotta go cause the cops are there. Cops come, make us leave and we pile into the van for the ride home.

We're all passed out except the DD who has no business driving us anywhere, much less on I-4. At some point Mark wakes up and says "I wanna drive" and pushes the driver over. Van swerves, we all wake up and are howling WTF? Three of us grab the big fella and convince him to sit down. I made him a drink and start joking with him. Eventually we make it home, and hangover aside it was a great night.

The next weekend I meet a chick out while jetskiiing. Nice looking Asian girl, single mom. She wasn't what I usually went for (single mom) but she was very cute and her body was off the charts. I had just bought my first house and invited her over. Few weeks later she's coming over a lot and bringing me pretty expensive gifts. Dishes, pots and pans, knives. Good stuff. We were watching Star Trek one night and I ask her where she's getting the money to buy me stuff for the house as a single mom nursing student. Sheepishly she says "I have a job I work 4 months out of the year and it pays my bills. I'm a waitress at a place in Orlando." I coax it out of her, and sure enough it's Rachel's. I laugh and tell her about the bachelor party experience from a few months before. She knew the girl! Said she quit a couple weeks later, Mark wasn't the first one to take a feel.

Chick could make $700 for a nights work which was damn good back then.

 

[Gator515151]

Most of y'all know I was a building inspector for Orange County for 25 years before retiring. For the first 8 years of my service my assigned area was the area west of Orange av and East of John Young parkway. Rachel's Gentleman's Club was just across the street from my area. So one afternoon I got a call from the inspector Frank that worked the area Rachel's was in. Rachel's had been doing some remodeling and Frank called and said he needed a second opinion from a senior inspector. I told him it was 3:00 and I was fixin to get off work. Frank said it is at Rachel's and I answered I'll be right there.

So I met Frank at the front door and we went on in. Being late afternoon on a Friday the girls were already dancing. As we walked in the girl on stage hollered "Hey Frank". Did I mention Frank was a ladies man? Anyway I looked at Frank and asked "You're on a first name basis with these girls?" Frank answered "Yeah I'm here every day to do inspections". So frank led me down a dark hallway to the rear exit door where he took out a tape measure and measured the width of the door. It measured 36" from door jamb to door jamb but the door stop cut the clear opening to 35". I said Frank you know code calls for 36" clear opening for this door? He said yeah but I needed a 2nd opinion.

So then Frank said come with me I have something else I'd like to show you. Halfway down the dark hallway there was a door. Frank knocked on the door and a woman's voice answered. Who is it. Frank answered it's Frank. The woman opened the door and said Frank come on it, you don't need to knock. We walked in and there I was in the middle of a dozen or so girls in various stages of nakedness from fully dressed to completely naked. One of the girls walked up to the girl who had let us in and asked "Alice have you seen my nipple tape?" Alice answered "No I think Frank has it" Laughing Frank answered, "Ask Mike I think he has it."

Now I can walk into any titty bar in the country and not be embarrassed but put me in a room in my county shirt with a dozen naked women and me trying to act professional under the current circumstances and I turned beet red. Frank asked me a quick bull **** code question then we got out of there.

On the way to the parking lot realizing he had set me up I told Frank. "If you ever put me in that situation again I'll kill you" Frank answered "Really?" I said "On second thought call me any time you need me".

 

[Gatordiddy]

Yeah I'm here every day to do inspections".

lol- yeah I bet. perks of the job.

 

[gingerlover]

Nothing as great as your guys stories

The best was about 5 years ago at one of my best friends bachelor parties. In the Keys and went to a club. The women were attractive and convinced us all to pay for him to go up on stage for what we thought would be a nice little send off for him into the married life. They preceded to beat the living sh*t out of him and he had to almost fight to get away from them. It was not the fun send off we expected. I will never forget them chocking him with his T-Shirt as he tried to get off the stage. We did not get a refund. That being said it was payback for him dropping 100 for the nastiest stripper in the place at my bachelor party to give me 10 straight dances. Pancakes have never been the same.

 

[Gatorbait25]

Most of y'all know I was a building inspector for Orange County for 25 years before retiring. For the first 8 years of my service my assigned area was the area west of Orange av and East of John Young parkway. Rachel's Gentleman's Club was just across the street from my area. So one afternoon I got a call from the inspector Frank that worked the area Rachel's was in. Rachel's had been doing some remodeling and Frank called and said he needed a second opinion from a senior inspector. I told him it was 3:00 and I was fixin to get off work. Frank said it is at Rachel's and I answered I'll be right there.

So I met Frank at the front door and we went on in. Being late afternoon on a Friday the girls were already dancing. As we walked in the girl on stage hollered "Hey Frank". Did I mention Frank was a ladies man? Anyway I looked at Frank and asked "You're on a first name basis with these girls?" Frank answered "Yeah I'm here every day to do inspections". So frank led me down a dark hallway to the rear exit door where he took out a tape measure and measured the width of the door. It measured 36" from door jamb to door jamb but the door stop cut the clear opening to 35". I said Frank you know code calls for 36" clear opening for this door? He said yeah but I needed a 2nd opinion.

So then Frank said come with me I have something else I'd like to show you. Halfway down the dark hallway there was a door. Frank knocked on the door and a woman's voice answered. Who is it. Frank answered it's Frank. The woman opened the door and said Frank come on it, you don't need to knock. We walked in and there I was in the middle of a dozen or so girls in various stages of nakedness from fully dressed to completely naked. One of the girls walked up to the girl who had let us in and asked "Alice have you seen my nipple tape?" Alice answered "No I think Frank has it" Laughing Frank answered, "Ask Mike I think he has it."

Now I can walk into any titty bar in the country and not be embarrassed but put me in a room in my county shirt with a dozen naked women and me trying to act professional under the current circumstances and I turned beet red. Frank asked me a quick bull **** code question then we got out of there.

On the way to the parking lot realizing he had set me up I told Frank. "If you ever put me in that situation again I'll kill you" Frank answered "Really?" I said "On second thought call me any time you need me".

Great story Frank!

 

[AugustaGator]

Dad: “So, you are dating a stripper?”

Me: “Yeah, you know, she makes me feel special.”

Dad: “Don’t you think that’s what she gets paid to do?”

That’s true of women until they become your wife.

 

[MADGator]

For a best friends bachelor party we drove to Tampa and ended up at the Mons Venus at the latter end of the night. We eventually get our friend a seat at the edge of the stage, he was having trouble standing up by this time. This beautiful girl was on stage and we were steady feeding our friend bills to give to her, so after quite a bit of financial support the lovely lady squats down and pulls my friends face right up between her thighs; she's just holding his face there and all of a sudden she jumps back and then slaps the shyt out of him! We were all shocked and asked him what happened and in a very slurry voice he says, Man, she put that thing right on my nose so I gave the little man in the boat a little lick.

 

[Gator515151]

I got kicked out of one by the bouncer once. Back in the 70's I frequented a couple of local strip clubs that were very laxed on the touching rules. One night I went to a club out of town that was very strict on no touching. I had a few too many drinks and got a little frisky with one of the dancers. She kept pushing my hands away and when the dance was over I was a bit pissed so I stuck a buck in her garter. She pointed to a sign that said tips $10. I said "You weren't worth a tip. You're lucky you got a buck......It wasn't but about 2 minutes before the bouncer showed me the door.

 

[jeeping8r]

Related to Ron White?

 

[RiverRat]

Holly Cow does this thread bring back distance memories.

Back when the Gators went to Atlanta we would frequent a club or two, rode by the Cheetah and after seeing 5 or 6 limousines outside decided to look for a more budget friendly club.
Settled on one which was dark and and dingy, our kind of place, a buddy of mine got the idea to tear some dollar sized pieces of paper out of a big phone book and stick them in the girls garder, didn’t end well.
At our next bar a step up , but not much , same bud asked one girl what she was doing later, she said if we have some coke she’d be available, didn’t have any So it didn’t happen, then my Cousin asked one what it would take to try her on for size, she said for you to pay my bills, another no go.
Same bar I was looking up at (borrow a line from Cover) the place where it all happens and saw a string hanging out, told my cousin is that a damn string hanging out? He told the girl we could see her tampon string, she left and never came back.
Damn I miss going to Atlanta

 

[Nalt]

I find it hard to believe that this thread is ~ 5 years old and no one has posted this yet...

 

[DarksideGator]

How I’ve missed this thread I don’t know. We used to go to the clubs in Canada, wearing nothing but shoes and jewelry, so of course I called it the shoeshow.
We are Heading up to celebrate a younger buddy of ours 21st B-Day. I’m driving and all of them are drinking up beer like water. So my buddy can’t stop scratching his crotch, I mean it’s like every 10 seconds. Finally I have to say something “hey dumbass, you know they’ve got Penicillin for that!” For what he says, “ you can’t stop scratching your crotch, you don’t think we’ve noticed?”
He says, “well I’m already wearing a condom!” The whole car erupts, why in the hell do you have a condom on? He says, well of course I don’t want to get my pants all ji$$ed up, I’m partying tonight.
I hope I remember that story until my deathbed, still brings me to tears.

 

[Gatordiddy]

How I’ve missed this thread I don’t know. We used to go to the clubs in Canada, wearing nothing but shoes and jewelry, so of course I called it the shoeshow.
We are Heading up to celebrate a younger buddy of ours 21st B-Day. I’m driving and all of them are drinking up beer like water. So my buddy can’t stop scratching his crotch, I mean it’s like every 10 seconds. Finally I have to say something “hey dumbass, you know they’ve got Penicillin for that!” For what he says, “ you can’t stop scratching your crotch, you don’t think we’ve noticed?”
He says, “well I’m already wearing a condom!” The whole car erupts, why in the hell do you have a condom on? He says, well of course I don’t want to get my pants all ji$$ed up, I’m partying tonight.
I hope I remember that story until my deathbed, still brings me to tears.

this wasn't the "Windsor Ballet" by any chance, was it?

 

[gardnerwebbgator]

Wedging into the back of Mons Venus the Wednesday night before Super Bowl XXV, with LT and Bruce Smith each holding court at tables up front with VIPs all over.

 

[FlyingGator]

First assignment out of USAF Pilot training was in Altus, OK for a 2 month stint on how to fly the C-141B Starlifter. One of my classmates was RAF Flight Lieutenant Harry B. who was training for an exchange tour here In the US. As we approached our first weekend off, all he wanted to do was hit an American Strip Club. We drove to Oklahoma City that Friday night as they had no such establishment’s in Altus, where the the Bible Belt and Tornado Alley collide. We checked in to the BOQ at Tinker and they told us the place we needed to go to was The Valley of the Dolls, and gave us directions which we promptly screwed up (Alcohol may have been involved). We found ourselves driving on country backroads and finally found an old local watering hole that was open to get directions from. Old Harry plunged right into that redneck hangout and yelled “I say Chaps, can any of you help us find The Valley of the Dolls? I’m on an old fashioned American Beaver Hunt and we appear to have lost our way!” It was like a scene from an old western movie..the music stopped and every cowboy hat adorned head just turned and stared at him like they had never heard a British accent before. We weren’t sure which way this was going to go until one guy laughed and said “We can get you there but there are much better places than that not far away!” We joined them for a beer and then were off again on Harry’s quest. We finally found it around 11 that night and jumped right into a booth. It was full frontal nudity which is what Harry had insisted on. The main stage was in the middle but several tables had a pole on them as well for private dances. I have to say the talent there was surprisingly good and the walls were covered with nothing but mirrors. We stayed until closing and Harry was quite content, regaling us with stories from The Falklands War and Hong Kong bars where they all bet on who would win “The Dance of the Flaming Arseholes”. When the lights came on after the last dance, every stripper came out completely nude and started cleaning the mirrors. Harry’s eyes lit up and he said “Lad’s, I’m not going anywhere until the live wall to wall shag carpeting show is over!” (It was the mid 80’s after all). As you might expect, we were there the next night as well!

 

[DarksideGator]

this wasn't the "Windsor Ballet" by any chance, was it?

Niagara Falls

 

[Detroitgator]

this wasn't the "Windsor Ballet" by any chance, was it?

Several trips across the Ambassador Bridge senior year of HS to experience the high culture in Windsor.

 

[ThreatMatrix]

Did nobody brave Trader Tom's on south 13th?
It was

 

[cover2]

Did nobody brave Trader Tom's on south 13th?
It was

@URGatorBait shared that he’s enjoyed the mullet there on several occasions

 

[URGatorBait]

@URGatorBait shared that he’s enjoyed the mullet there on several occasions

I enjoy t-gators mom in many locations...never have I referred to her as the mullet though