Haven't viewed the video. saw photo of the 2 at presser on yahoo news. Maybe it was just the shot. However, she has that beaten down ( literally) scared to leave him look. Don't kid yourself. He has most likely threatened to kill her or have her or family killed And every woman has said the emotional abuse is even more damaging to them. You can't assume she is intact enough to actually leave either.
Yes, there usually is a lot of ambivalence, However, I gotta say, just from the still photo, she does not look ambivalent.
I worked at one of the first crisis centers for battered women in the country. Many abusers make death threats. Most will not carry through with them. However, this is not a man, who by all accounts is remorseful.
There were a couple of instance I knew of, in which women had to relocate across the country, or abusers chained their families, or in one case brought the wife to the office with a broken jaw to flaunt his power. I wasn't there that day I am aware of local law enforcement in their small towns forcing women whose children were being abused back to the home, and social services would not intervene because the woman ( who was chained at the time of appt) didn't show for appointments.
Many abusive men ( or women) were abused as children, are carrying internalized rage, low self esteem, insecurity, from various things and explode on the safest people- family., And regret it later, but the pattern continues. Many learned this is acceptable also and don't' respect women.
Some are very mentally disturbed, and some are criminal type enttiled a holes.
There actually are some therapeutic approaches that work for abusers- depending on the specific person and the patterns. One of the early ones that seemed to be working involved learning to be emotionally intimate with men ( not business or sports talk) Key factor in change is acknowledging that it is happening and is unacceptable combined with a desire to stop responding that way. There is a lot of choice involved in abuse, but also for some, some strong physicological prompts that need to be recognized and altered. I include this, because I think it important to realize most abusive people are not merely monsters. Almost all the emotionally or sometimes physically/sexually abused male children that came in were set up to become abusers later. And the stories the women told about their partners life were worse than these kids. It really has generational components. The other surprise for me, was that what often caused the women to leave was discovering the sons were being sexually fondled by their spouse. ( these were women without financial resources mostly, so leaving was a huge step.
I agree spousal and family violence should be labeled assault or battery. Why is it OK to be violent with your family when it is illegal elsewhere? The roots of accepting this go back centuries.
.Sadly the nfl response is reminiscent of the special classification of non action that was given to physical crimes against family as late as the late 70's. It has been discouraging the last year ( winston rape case public and institutional responses and now this) to see how engrained the no big deal attitude is toward "domestic abuse".
OTOH, the culture, and the legal/judicial system have become much more aware and non accepting of family violence compared with the 50s, for instance.
Sorry for the discourse.
