Ooo! I wanna try! Is this what we're looking for?
1. I'm a grumpy malcontent and I criticize everything and everyone.
2. I love Gators football, that's why I have to hate every Gators football coach and player. That's why I hate every recruit, notwithstanding those with big butts. My love for the Gators fuels my hatred for the members of the program, especially head coaches, coordinators, and QB's. I am a guardian, ensuring that only perfection, and perfection which can be guaranteed to us, will be accepted for my beloved Gators.
3. If I support the Gator coaches and players, their failures will reflect on me, becoming my failures.
5. I may not be good at math, but I am really good at mocking others. I'm best at mocking those I know best, so while it would be enjoyable to mock the other teams, I really shine when I mock the teams I love.
6. I hate everyone. It's not just Dan Mullen, I hate everyone. Well, I'm better than everyone. My perspective is not only right, it's the only viable way to look at it. I can't stand the incompetence of everyone. They don't understand anything. Only I understand and would succeed if I could do their job. Alas, my commitment to exposing their flaws, obvious to me, in a public online forum occupies my time.
My psychologist vacillates between diagnosing me with narcissistic personality disorder and paranoid personality disorder manifesting from my deep-seeded feelings of inadequacies stemming from severely toxic understanding of my own identity requiring a compensatory loathing for others in an effort to establish value for myself.
You would behave the same way as I do if you were in my shoes.
Let me know if I'm doing this right. I've got some more, but I'll give others a chance before dumping some more. In the mean time "Dorky Dan" has a question about his haterz...
...and Kyle Trask wants to know...